|Tough American Bouncer |
More like Terminator Syphilis. Am I doing it right, guys?
BTW, folks, for those of you who don't regularly watch Half in the Bag, the joke behind their vests and the pixel art on the walls is that their business has gone from being a video repair shop to a pretentious "retro" mom-and-pop video game store.
I wondered why they had only recently decided to watch Lady Terminator even though it's one of the better known crappy movies of the 80s. It makes sense now.
Terminator 3 could've been great. I liked the fact that John had turned into a ketamine-addicted loser and I just like Clair Danes in general. And since the second one introduced a new (male) terminator, sure! Make her a hot lady terminator. And I guess I understand not going fullon skynet but they kill a fucking rc car and that's about it.
Rodents of Unusual Size
I really hated Terminator 3 and really liked Terminator: Salvation a lot.
This looks just awful. Maybe every other terminator after 2 will be good?
Check out the other writing credits for the Term3/Salvation screenwriting duo.
It is not pretty.
I've still only seen the first two and I'm OK with that.
Yeah T3 ruined it for me so I didn't bother with Salvation. I just remember Christian Bale's Klaus Kinski freak out. Maybe it's just working with Werner Herzog? But I lost interest, and I was the biggest Terminator fan. Bethesdas Skynet was my favorite game and I used to ride my bike around like the guy from Saltue Your Shorts blasting GNR. Fuck, t2 got me into Public Enemy. I dunno.. like they say it sounds like Terminator fan fiction, and sure! You've got infinite possibilities in that universe which makes it harder to bitch about canonical stuff ok I'll shut up now I'm not gonna see it ok I'll be back
Salvation had a lot of potential, but it was completely tanked by Bale essentially fucking up the entire production with demands that his character be expanded. The movie was originally supposed to be about Kyle Reese and the not-quite-terminator robot guy with an entirely different second half, but Bale demanded that John Connor somehow be, confusingly, made into the central character of second half of the movie and given all sorts of illogical things to do to fight Skynet. There's been leaks of the original screenplay and a lot of people who worked on the production have talked about this, so the info is out there. It's a shame because I think the film worked really well until that weird moment where suddenly the entire film is unexplainably handed over to Bale.
|infinite zest |
Without watching it (the review or the last 2 Terminator movies) or this review yet there's two letters and numbers that sum up why I don't want to see this: "PG13." Terminator, like Alien or even Rambo was always an R rated franchise. One of my favorite parts in the first one is when he learns "fuck you asshole" and selects that out of a list of responses. You can make a pg13 movie out of R rated source material like The Dark Knight, but I always remember Terminator as the movie I was too young to see, so I figured out a way to see it. So all the kids who can go and buy tickets to this while being denied Mad Max are missing the point: you probably know someone who is old enough to rent it on VHS in a few months, have a cool dad, etc.
Now that I watched it, what the fuck? I would watch that Western though..
Good news, everyone!
That was actually a pretty great Joker. I think I still liked hipster joker more, but good job! Just don't get involved with the Michelles from Full House, because then the jokes on you!
Holy shit, Joe Dirt 2!
I imagine he was something of a hero to you when you were younger. Do you know when it's coming out?
I wonder if we've just become too jaded. Like, what if Joe Dirt 2 did everything that would've made Joe Dirt 1 funny? I mean, it was sort of a Trailer Park Boys before TPB existed but nobody's going to see it because it's already getting so much shit. I thought the same thing was going to happen with Mad Max actually; people shat on that movie before they had a chance to see it and then it was really good! And they not only had one bad movie in the franchise but a person who fucked up a lot worse than Arnold ever did even with maidgate.
Joe Dirt was funny, you philistines.
EvilHomer, I wanted to talk to you about a great cartoon I recently discovered in adulthood that has really changed the way I see my childhood. I know I have a record on here of dissing cartoons, but it's so thoughtful and canny that I figured you'd be into it and could maybe give me a guide as to which episodes I should check out first. It's called Steven Universe.
Oh yeah, Steven Universe. I know that one. You haven't been around much lately, but there are a ton of Unibros here. Cena's one, too!
I really don't get the point of Steven Broniverse, from what Ive seen it just seems like Adventure Time with all the fun sucked out. "Bee and PuppyCat" as interpreted by some random Homestuck fan on Tumblr. But anyway, why do YOU like it? Give me some arguments and I will consider them.
P.S. Joe Dirt wasn't exactly terrible, but the only thing that stood out for me was the incest joke. I imagine that you are looking back at Joe Dirt with nostalgia - a Southerner with deadbeat parents, who overcomes adversity and becomes an inspiration to thousands, is, I"d imagine, a story which resonated with your younger self. Slap a Trekkie uniform on Mr Dirt, and he could be you! So yeah, I get it. Aesthetics are largely irrational and subjective. It makes sense for you to say that we're Philistines! But it still wasn't a very good film.
Actually, Joe Dirt has the exact same plot as Star Wars, down to the incest joke, which is why I liked it. I didn't see it as a child, but I like comedy takes on the hero's journey.
How do you not like Steven Universe!? The concept of the gems as a transcendentally origined source of human salvation bestowed by alien overseers dates back thousands of years. The show is hip and with it mythologically. It's the classic (near prehistoric) exploration of an individual's obligations to their planet and their species, highly relevant in today's world. It's boss. You'd have to be really selfish and closed off to not like it. Unlike Adventure Time, it takes place in a world that can actually still be saved.
That doesn't even make sense; how can an individual be obliged to both their planet AND their species? *Why* this should even be the case in the first place is anyone's guess, considering that Lovelock's Gaia hypothesis is wrong (meaning planets should not be anthropomorphized or treated as having actual "goals" or "self-interest"), and evolutionary science suggests that the loyalty of an individual organism is primarily owed to one's own immediate genetic family, not some abstract and ultimately arbitrary social construct like "a species". But nevermind the "why", what about the "HOW"?
How can an individual be duty-bound to both the interests of the planet and to the interests of his species, when by most accounts, those two sets of interests are at odds? The interests of the planet may be the interests of the species, in the sense that the species requires a sustainable ecological foundation on which to thrive, but only up to a point, and rarely (or never!) is the communtative proposition true (the interests of the species are rarely the interests of the planet). The planet could turn into a global parking-lot for all we care, assuming that we are capable of finding a longterm alternative (or even, if we're talking on a strictly philosophical level, a short term alternative - remember, "species" do not plan ahead!!! Darwinian evolution is blind and extinction is just as natural as continued existence; what is "good" for the current generation only becomes "bad" in hindsight.)
Does Steven Broniverse address these issues? Because from what you're describing, the show sounds kinda dumb (stripped of obfuscation, your post is basically saying "SU rehashes tired tropes and preaches a lot") , and if that's the only hook you've got, then I don't see how I could get much out of it.
He doesn't want to address them. He's a kid. He just wants normal friends and wants to fit in and the Gems are three embarrassing moms basically. It's like if I didn't read anything in this posts past "Steven Universe." That's why his own gem powers don't work most of the time, because he has to figure out what makes them activate. 3 moms and a dad with no powers can't do that for him as much as they try. I don't really follow the show but it is a pretty beautiful metaphor for what it's like to grow up.. maybe I'm fucking this up but he's the Vanity to the Applejacks and Twilight Sparkles and other ponies out there. All he wants to do is be friends with all the spikes of the world, but he's got responsibility up the yin yang which is a lot for a kid to process.
I should just write a greasemonkey script that removes all EvilHomer comments with the words "broniverse" and "unibros." That would make this site about 80x more readable.
Holy shit that 10 second clip in the beginning should be the entire review for this movie. That's way worse than the entire "alternate 1985 timeline" plot of Back to the Future 2.
eeh.. I dunno not-Plinkett loved Jurassic world which I thought was very bland, Chris Pratt notwithstanding.
Genesys kinda plays like a lighthearted best of album of the terminator series and I personally thought it had the most flawed and humane antagonist this time. I mean I understood it as he was both JC and Skynet. It was way better than the last two movies which ofc is not saying much.
haha James Cameron
I'll be the billionth person to ask this question but what happened with him? Really? Laugh away but even Titanic was a damn good movie at least in my mind. But Avatar was one of the few movies I really couldn't finish when I caught it on TV. You'd think at some point Cameron would say that they're just ripping off Pocahontas and all this CGI is going to look like shit in 3 years, etc. I mean at least Titanic had kind of a cool backstory leading up to the story with the apathetic submariners and such. Maybe his brain just turned to mush when Kathryn Bigelow got the Oscar and he didn't: If you liked the other Terminators then you'll like this one too, I liked them and I won't see this.
I know you'll think this is a joke, but hear me out...
Avatar should have been a rock opera. I would own sixty copies of it right now if it had been.
"Sexualized"? Really? I think that word has lost all meaning at this point.
Don't forget that Cameron also shamelessly stole creative content from Roger Dean to create "fantastic CGI worlds!" in Avatar. Screw that guy.
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