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Desc:Oh god you drivel.
Category:Classic Movies, Crime
Tags:stephen colbert, Passion of the Christ, mel gibson, The Late Show, crazed bigots with money
Submitted:memedumpster
Date:11/05/16
Views:662
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Comment count is 17
Bobonne
Religiously "Defiant" movies are a great scam if you can get involved in them. You don't even have to make a good product, just make something and market it as 'the movie the godless sinners don't want to be shown' or 'only real christians will see this movie' and specify that church bookings are available, and you're in the money.

Well, you probably have to pay off some of the big name evangelical shills, but still, huge profit margins.

Those moneylenders would be so proud.
Bobonne
Money changers? Whatever. You know what I meant.

Xenocide
They're really raising the stakes for this one. Jesus dies twenty-seven times over the course of the film, always in more violent and gruesome ways.
Bort
Jesus keeps trying to kill Satan with increasingly-elaborate traps and gimmicks, and dies some different gruesome way each time as Satan runs off. HAW HAW!

decoy
Man that's some aggressive beard twirling.
memedumpster
I am amazed that the preload image is where he looks most sane through the entire video.

Sanest Man Alive
When I saw the beard, I thought Gibson was booking himself to play the starring role.

Binro the Heretic
He's officially become an awful bearded old man.

The next step is to start releasing home videos from a secret cave urging his followers to kill the non-believers.
duck&cover
Osama Mel Laden.

gravelstudios
If it doesn't involve Jesus riding a T-Rex, I'm going to be very disappointed.
Two Jar Slave
I like that he waited until everyone was jussst getting ready to like him again. The consummate entertainer!
duck&cover
"Passion of the Christ 2: Resurrection Boogaloo."

Interior of the Roman Senate, the senators and the emperor Nero plot further atrocities against the Christians. Suddenly, the heavy doors to the room burst open and fly off their hinges. Lifeless bodies of the Praetorian Guard fall to lie on the floor. It's Jesus Christ, and he is pissed!

"You thought you killed me? You were wrong." Halo blazing, Jesus uses a minigun to slaughter the senators. The emperor escapes in the chaos to his chariot. Using his messiah powers of levitation, the Christ follows.

Jesus corners the evil emperor in a back alley. Nero pleads on his knees for his life, offering Jesus untold wealth.

"Verily, earthly riches are as nothing compared to the Kingdom of heaven," intones Jesus. "The wages of sin are death. Vengeance is mine!" He takes a bazooka and blows the emperor away in a pillar of fire.
15th
"I am the light." He whispers, loud enough for only his father to hear. Smoldering documents cascade around him like burning leaves. Jesus limps through the marble interior towards the piercing daylight. He descends the steps and sees that his donkey has succumbed to its wounds. "Goddammit," he mutters while reaching for a cigarette.

"Looks like you could use a lift."
He turns to meet her eyes that were coyly peering above a set of Ray Bans. [Megan Fox]

Jesus runs his hand down his traveling partner's long face for the last time, closing his weary grey eyes. He reaches into the donkey's satchel and pulls out his Mac 11. He slaps a clip into it, the metallic clank echoes down the empty street and the unseen birds scatter from their alcoves.

"How did it go?"
Jesus spills into the Corvette's leather interior and slams the door. His face wrinkles with pain, his teeth clamping down on his cigarette.
"You're bleeding!."
"Session is adjourned."

Jaguar Wong
Passion of the Christ II: The Legend of Judas' Silver
kingarthur
The man's a kook for Catholicism but man, he can direct a movie.
DriverStabby
Ay ay ay.
Prickly Pete
On a not-related-to-the-point-of-the-video note: late night talk shows are becoming more and more obviously horrible and irrelevant.
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