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Desc:Like shooting fish in a barrel
Category:News & Politics
Tags:Daily Show, idiots, republicans, Roy Moore, child molesters
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
Date:11/18/17
Views:558
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Comment count is 19
Old_Zircon
Apparently polls show something like an 8 point rise in popularity among male voters in his district since the allegations surfaced.
Meerkat
In Birmingham they love molesters
They say Roy Moore has "minor" flaws
Just 'coz he gets his jollies
Groping teen girls through their bras

Meerkat
(Doodle doodle doodle doodle doo)

Oscar Wildcat
Five lighters held high.

Oscar Wildcat
Southern Girls had to give him head,
Just remember what your D.A. said.
Southern man gonna come at last,
now your past is coming fast.
Southern Man.

Anaxagoras
Just when I thought I couldn't despise the South anymore.

Jesus Christ, we *so* shouldn't have fought the Civil War.
M-DEEM
That one dude's been eating alot of soy
Binro the Heretic
The biggest problem with most people in my home state (And probably other parts of the South, too.) Is they keep imaginary tally books in their heads for themselves & everyone else.

Every entry in this book has two columns; "Good" & "Bad." They have arbitrary rules for determining what is "good" and what is "bad." Doing a "bad" thing that can somehow be interpreted as doing "good" counts as "good."

Being homosexual is "bad." persecuting homosexuals is "good." Because homosexuality is "sinful" but trying to torture people into denying their homosexuality "saves" them from sin. Women using birth control is "bad." Shooting a doctor who performs abortions is "good." Because it's "sinful" to deny potential babies potential life but murdering a doctor potentially "saves" potential lives. (Even when most of that doctor's work results in actual real lives being saved.)

And their own entry in the tally book is treated like a bank balance. "Good" marks are deposits. "Bad" marks are withdrawals. If they make enough deposits, they're entitled to make some withdrawals. In case you're wondering, yes, this is EXACTLY why church is more popular down South. They view the appearance of being highly religious as big deposits.

And they walk around with these tally books floating in their mind, adding points to the "Good" & "Bad" columns for themselves & everyone else. As long as they feel their own "Good" column has more points than their "Bad" column, they feel they are "good" people. However, if anyone else gets even a single tick in their "Bad" column, they are "bad" people.

Sometimes, they pretend to forgive "bad" people. They only do this with people they consider to be their "equals", however, and they don't really forgive them. In the back of their mind, they are now superior to that person because that other person is "bad."

The real problems arise when someone they have elevated to a position of power has been caught being bad. Although they would never admit it, they do feel some sense of guilt & responsibility when a religious leader or politician they supported is caught doing awful things. In their minds, it counts as a mark in their own personal "Bad" column. It's an involuntary withdrawal and they can't stand it.

So they refuse to accept the person they put in power is "bad" because that makes them "bad." That's why they fiercely defend scumbags like Moore, Trump, etc. in the face of overwhelming evidence against them.

"They can't be bad people because I'm not a bad person."
Cena_mark
Roll tide.

Bort
Enlightening, thanks!

I never would have imagined that going to church earns them the privilege to do a certain number of asshole things (after which they need to go to church again to "recharge"), holy God those people are broken.

Cena_mark
It's hilarious how Catholic all that sounds. It's like hating gays is an indulgence for him.

Ocyrus
Stars are for your explanation.

Binro the Heretic
FUN FACT: A lot of serial killers operate on this "morality."

"I helped five old ladies with their groceries, that means I can chop up a coed and drive her parts around in my trunk."

memedumpster
Great post, all the stars.

God is basically the narcissistic parent of the entire American South, and all God's children hear shame as the Divine Word, and blind hatred as the only form of acceptance.

I couldn't tell you if any aspect of America is founded on anything else, it seems pretty much universal, down to the writings of 18th century thinkers. This country may have been founded to be an abusive, punishing, parent to all of humanity.

Cena_mark
Man on the street segments like this usually require many interviews and just keeping the good ones, in this case I wouldn't doubt the Daily Show just went with the first handful of idiots they found.
SolRo
Given it looks like most of the interviews were done in parking lots, it would have been too easy to select old people with partisan bumper stickers on their cars.

Cena_mark
Alabama is the Maine of the South.

Cena_mark
It's funny how Catholic that sounds.
Marlon Brawndo
Alabama
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