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Desc:Yahtzee looks at the year's most hyped game.
Category:Video Games, Cartoons & Animation
Tags:Halo, Halo 3, the escapist, zero punctuation, Yahtzee
Submitted:gotterdamm
Date:10/05/07
Views:15115
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Comment count is 74
SolRo
5 stars for being a big literary fag
Tyrathca
Oonteenee!
Adramelech
Multiplayer is pretty much the entire point of the game. Most of the "great" reviews were very critical of the campaign and several noted marking -down- the score because of it.

Yahtzee is always entertaining, though.
Tyrathca
Yup, right or wrong, he is one funny fucker.

Afgh
Too bad the multiplayer sucks too.

mr666
No it doesn't. I can't say the same thing for you, though.

Xenocide
Multiplayer might be good. I don't feel like wading through a forest of 6th graders constantly calling every living creature present a fag at the top of their lungs to find out.

Actually, scratch that, I played Halo 2 multiplayer and unless this game is drastically different, it's not all that special. Amusing, but not nearly enough to warrant all this hype. If there's a grand hierarchy of multiplayer fun it ranks somewhere in the middle, with four-player Smash Bros. where everyone is at roughly the same skill level being the gold standard, natch.

The Half-Life games remain the only FPS's I can stand to play for any extended length of time. Of course I haven't tried Bioshock yet.

Pandatronic
You may be an elitist fedorah-wearer, Yahtzee, bu yout're a funny elitist fedorah-wearer.
glasseye
Best game reviews ever.
theSnake
Is this the only man alive willing to objectively review games and actually say bad things about them without fear of not being showered with free swag and trips and bullshit?
Keefu
No.

IrishWhiskey
He says things that are funny and acerbic, not necessarily objective or insightful. I mean he freely admits to getting free stuff in the video, and to being completely biased in his opinion. And as long as its funny, who cares?

Xiphias
I hope someone writes a huge long argument about this
Xenocide
Xiph, you are a goddamned prophet.

Finger Paints
Not being PC FPS fag anymore, Halo 3 is better than alot of the PC FPS which is pretty much where all the Hate is coming from. Anyway Halo3 tight, enjoyable gameplay puts Bioshock's buggy and lame electroshock everything to shame, oh the A.I is a pile of shit compared Halo's enemy A.I.

Summary:- Halo brings the gameplay, Bioshock brings a storybook.

The end.
gotterdamm
Looks like you got your wish Xiphias.
Rage against the dying of the light Finger Paints.

yoyo1
This paint must be some kind of lead and mercury paint.

Stog
Pants-on-head retarded is what I would use to describe the hype of the Halo series

Cap'n Profan!ty
Fuck you, even if you disagree, this review is brilliantly expressed and illustrated, and therefore as a video it is 100% super awesome.

Eroticus E
I don't care one way or the other about Halo OR Bioshock, but I do want to point out that "a lot" is two words. Thanks.

Derrida
Why am I not surprised that Finger Paints likes halo?

Finger Paints
Wow, so much hate. It really does get on your tits that people can and do enjoy playing Halo. I marked down the video because it's criticism of game is nothing but pure hate without even trying to enjoy any part of it, and so it's become the battle cry for halo-haters and damn anyone for voicing an opinion on liking the game, because they must be wrong.

RockBolt
Christ, did you even watch the video?

Tyrathca
I'm a "Halo-hater" and I've enjoyed pretty much every minute of any Halo game i've ever played. Including the times I got destroyed by all and sundry.
Go figure, as y'all are stereotypically want to say...

Cap'n Profan!ty
aw, I want a set of "Rage Against the Dying of the Light" finger paints!

yoyo1
FUN FACT: Zero punctuation is becoming as hyped as halo.
yoyo1
also

coprolalia
I was wondering what these funny little Fisher-Price-looking figures were doing on those Mountain Dew cans.

Fun fact: everyone ever is full of shit, except for Yahtzee.

mr666
Nah, he's full of it as well, but that's O.K with me.

StanleyPain
This would have worked better had it been a slightly more substantive criticism of the game rather than just an "edgy" dismissal of it. Note in his Bioshock review how it's a more intelligently presented criticism of what he thinks is fundamentally wrong with the game, spoken like someone who played it and experienced its flaws. Here, he just sounds like a Halo hater who didn't even really touch the game.

Unmerciful Crushing Force
He goes into detail about the length of the game, the flaws in the AI, the difficulty of the game and basically says that it's simply "Meh."

A tad mean, but he has a point: the game isn't spectacularly different from its predecessors.

coprolalia
Halo had no single-player campaign until the buyout, and it really showed in the original. They improved, but somehow could never really overcome that. Local multiplayer can still be a blast though, if you can't set up a real LAN for a better game or anything.

StanleyPain
One thing I cannot argue with, the NPC AI is something Bungie should really REALLY be ashamed of. If any of you out there have not played Halo 3, this review is NOT an exaggeration. In fact, I should save the Theater replay of the second Scarab mission where I basically spend most of the mission wondering where the fuck my driver is taking me. At one point, he drives completely away from the commander talking to me, all the main action, and goes almost to the beginning of the level, only to get stuck on a rock.

FABIO2
You would be a better person if you weren't such a literary fag.

Aubrey McFate
HURRGH

YAAAAY
garcet71283
Um...the games fun...doesnt that make it good?
Tyrathca
Fun is no longer an issue. Especially here, so I'm told.

mysterycar
POETV FEEDS ON YOUR INTERNET ANGER

RAAAAAAAR YOU ONLY MAKE US MORE POWERFUL

Stog
I enjoy shitty music. That doesn't excuse the shittiness.

So no. Halo is still boring and overrated.

kingarthur
Its just a game.

Also, based on the following, I'm convinced that Finger Paints is actually Casey Serin::

"Wow, so much hate. It really does get on your tits that people can and do enjoy playing Halo. I marked down the video because it's criticism of game is nothing but pure hate without even trying to enjoy any part of it, and so it's become the battle cry for halo-haters and damn anyone for voicing an opinion on liking the game, because they must be wrong."

Because that sounds just like Casey Serin.
jihadbaby
3 stars, not because he'd dissing Halo (which I like), but because he just wasn't particularly funny about it this time. "MASTER CHEF NEEDS ODOR EATERS!!!!111 LULZ"
j lzrd / swift idiot
Played the first one.

HEADCRABS FROM HALFLIFE IN DISGUISE. BIG RINGS IN SPACE THAT MAKE THINGS DIE SOMEHOW. ENEMY MIDGETS RUNNING AROUND SOUNDING AND ACTING LIKE RETARDED EWOKS. NPCS BEING PANTS-ON-HEAD RETARDED.

And apparently not much has changed. Thank you Yahtzee.
tamago
I could have sworn I rated this already.
Five stars since I am not a fan of the Halo series at all.
My hate for the Halo series comes from two sources: Not being impressed one bit when I played the game and the sweaty fanboy love everybody seems to have for the series. See also: Napoleon Dynamite.




gron
pants-on-head retarded is my new favorite description of something.
Rinon460
First things first. The game is not bad because it's associated with Microsoft. Microsoft does not equal garbage. They did not even make the game. Bungie did. Micro only published it.
On with the counter strike!

Headcrabs? No. Bungie's Marathon Infinity came out before half life. It's the flood.

Inconsistent? Switching things up is a bad thing? Follow one theme, it's boring. Change things, and it's a schizophrenic.

Bright colors? So? Things look alive, not made out of plastic.

You didn't even touch on the excellent sound design.

Midgets? An 8 foot tall brute is a midget?

Arbitrary placement of alliances? You really do need to check the back-story.

AI being bad? Well, yea... but only friendly drivers. Even then I've had some good experiences with that. But wait, you lied any way. WTF were you doing getting out of the warthog WHILE BEING SHOT AT BY A TANK? I know why, you didn't. You needed an excuse to bash the game.

Weapons made by Mattel? Have you even LOOKED at the weapons? Even then, they're WEAPONS for God's sake! Ever seen a 2 yr old with a shotgun? No. If you have, call social services.

You say the game is schizophrenic; always changing it's theme. But then you say it's monotonous. Make up your mind.

I hope that some people will see that this review means nothing. In his bioshock review he even says he never gives good reviews because "pplz don'tz likes zit wens I sez I likez ah gaym". So then he makes up cheesy ways to say it sucks.



Stog
DO YOU LIEK FALL OUT BOY?

Rinon460
Never listened to em.

RockBolt
Gee, someone who has signed up and dissapeared only to one star a video that doesn't give Halo 3 a blowjob. You must have a dire existence on the internet. Go outside.

Rinon460
who said i disappeared? And i'm just stating the facts, not flaming, like you just did.

Cap'n Profan!ty
Hi. You're a big big queen. Stick that in your cap, Princess!

Rinon460
who would expect less from a guy named Cap'n PROFAN!TY.

RomancingTrain
Rinon is an excellent troll. I almost believed he was a person who wraps up his self esteem in a video game.

Rinon460
no. i just hate it when game reviewers get their facts wrong, and especially hate it when they don't review the entire game.

Rinon460
come on! some one make a valid point to challenge me! I love a good debate. All I've gotten is PS3 fanboys spitting insults who don't realize that I like Halo AND PS3. I guess Xbox isn't the only console with screaming 12 year olds...

RockBolt
PS3 fanboys? Where do you think you are?

Rinon460
Does it matter? And to answer the question, I'm in front of my computer. Fancy that!

Caminante Nocturno
I stopped taking it personally when someone disliked what I liked when I hit my sixth year.

Rinon460
i haven't taken anything personally. I just love starting arguments.

Caminante Nocturno
Claiming that they enjoy starting arguments is how people who take things personally try to deny it.

Rinon460
seriously, i want someone to make a valid claim against my arguments. I'm waiting for you.

RockBolt
Why? Its funnier to let you stand in the cold waiting to defend wealthy game companies who don't know or care about you

Rinon460
says the person who keeps replying to me when i post. Your pathetic. Your defending a guy named after a board game with a bad british accent who hates almost every game he plays. Word to yahtzee, if you hate video games, don't play em.

Caminante Nocturno
So YOU'RE taking it personally, after all.

Rinon460
"says the person who keeps replying to me when i post. Your pathetic. Your defending a guy named after a board game with a bad british accent who hates almost every game he plays. Word to yahtzee, if you hate video games, don't play em." Where does it say I'm taking the review personally? The review doesn't mention my name, last time I checked.

Rinon460
It looks like you're taking MY responses personally, as you keep coming back.

j lzrd / swift idiot
I think this guy Simon560 is for real, not a troll. Also, I'm betting 10 to 1 odds he's in a Halo clan.

Cleaner82
Five for this display, which I totally missed.

Random_Hajile
Yahtzee may be mean, but he's 100% right.
Ahriman the Creepy Lurker
Halo is Ringworld, but with frat boys masturbating in your ear. And guns, I guess, and an army man who moves slower than a fatty on a Rascal.

I love it when a topic makes mongoloids out themselves.
Rinon460
whats a mongoloid?

Hooper_X
oh man this is the most awesomely elaborate troll EVER.

j lzrd / swift idiot
Seriously, this video was here for about a year, then suddenly this Name### guy shows up. This is why we need post dates on PoETV comments; less necromancy.

Caminante Nocturno
I owe Yahtzee a lot for exposing me to that song he uses at the end.
seriouslyuguys
Five stars for "finger quoting Margo".
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