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Desc:Heh heh heh...
Category:Sports, Educational
Tags:nerds, fatties, Klingons, batleth, wrist strength
Submitted:Killer Joe
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Comment count is 41
zatojones - 2008-08-12
how does being really fat give you more wrist strength?
oddeye - 2008-08-12
Tons of practise wanking and lifting quater-pounders on those lonely lonely nights?

baleen - 2008-08-12

You could have just ended that sentence after "Tons."

dueserpenti - 2008-08-12
They've confused fat with muscle. They've heard stories about guys that look fat but are actually just solidly built and muscular, and they figure that must be them. Again, this is what happens in a world where no child is ever called "fatty fatty two-by-four" and given pinkbellies in gym class.

gotterdamm - 2008-08-12
It's simple physics: a large warrior's center of gravity is in his FUPA.

Blandwiches - 2008-08-24
Fatnerds all think they're the Kingpin from Daredevil comics. They think they look fat but are secretly strong.

UnderANeonHalo - 2008-08-12
I think this should be called "The fat-ass conservation of excess calories through minimal defensive movement theory"
heyitslozeau - 2008-08-12

chumbucket - 2008-08-12
I thought all of the "I wanna be a Klingon" race of nerds was wiped out decades ago
Charles - 2009-06-10
They're sorta like viruses

Smellvin - 2008-08-12
Pfft. Any true Klingon knows that you don't block with the blade side as that will dull the edge.
wtf japan - 2008-08-12
Warning: Not effective against swords, staves, or projectiles.
waxeater - 2008-08-12
Or bouncers.

grimcity - 2008-08-12
Or any other vertebrates.

RomancingTrain - 2008-08-12
I doubt this would help against a horta.

Konversekid - 2008-08-17
Or a gun?

Pillager - 2010-11-30
It'll stop someone from stealing your fries.

Rovin - 2008-08-12
"If they're coming at you from above..."

Then you've made a bad decision because you're "guarding" your head with the slimmest part of your nerf Klingon weapon-thing. And judging from how low it is, I'm using the word "guarding" loosely. Wouldn't want to have to raise those arms, now.
Brautwurst_Barbarian - 2008-08-12
"My name is Dragon."

PROTIP: That isn't covering nearly any of your body.
phalsebob - 2008-08-12

detc - 2009-10-23

phalsebob - 2008-08-12
Oh lordee. This guy thinks he know something resembling a martial art. I would like to see him in a match against a scrawny teenager who has taken 2 months worth of Escrima.
boner - 2008-08-12
How about 10 years worth of Eczema

ProfessorChaos - 2008-08-12
That would be funny, too

dancingshadow - 2008-08-12
"My name is Dragon, and I will de.. drfe.. de... "
charmlessman - 2008-08-12
"If your opponent throws a Boston Creme to your left, rotate to the right, because he's trying to distract you. Believe me, I know."
Stupid Lisa Garbage Face - 2008-08-12
I don't understand his first instruction. How is an item that thin covering most of the area of his body? Wouldn't it be easier to use a parachute?
Flux - 2008-08-12
It is a delightful to me irony that being fat makes you bad at LARPing.
Sean Robinson - 2008-08-12
How do you flick your wrists to prevent teenagers busting on you so hard at a restaurant that the entire room has become, through their stares, a theatre around your epic humiliation?

(A: by nervously stroking your hands under the table and hanging your head glumly low over your food, begging God that they choke to death on their laughter.)
sinuendo - 2008-08-12
"I'm not fat! I'm a large warrior!"
Hooker - 2008-08-13
What happens if they come at you with something sharp that will cut right through your balloon?
Caminante Nocturno - 2008-08-13
Another good idea is not to make yourself such an incredibly fat and depressing target.
ebola - 2008-08-14
"I don't know how many people will realize that this is a pretty significant contribution in terms of the development of real batleth form."
ebola - 2008-08-14
OH CRAP! (First 49 seconds only)


"The Screaming Wall of Mark could pretty much swing two at once and own a large chunk of real estate."

This guy leaves some epic quotes "There is a big difference between TV/movie fighting and real world fighting. Quite often folks get so used to the TV/movie way, that they don't understand the real way. After doing this since 1997, we pretty much have figured out how these are really used."

Unsung - 2008-08-15
From Youtube:

Heckler: "You lost your life"

Fat Dragon: "No, I haven't. Say something stupid like that again and you will though. Dare to face me in the ring? I doubt you could survive."
j lzrd / swift idiot - 2008-10-03
This is like, the best thing of the week. WHY IS HE NOT FEATURED ON THE FRONTPAGE?!

fluffy - 2008-08-30
Ever notice how the more prominently displayed the CC licensing is, the less likely it is to be something worthwhile?
bopeton - 2008-09-17
-1 star because we didn't get to see it in action.
Hooper_X - 2008-09-18
oh my christ. i knew about the Klingon Klubs, but I had *no idea* people made nerf klingon sticks and fought duels with them.

it kind of makes me happy to know that there's retarded shit on the internet that I haven't discovered... but sad when I do discover it.
Spoonybard - 2008-10-02
I suspect being a Klingon is ALL ABOUT fighting duels. I hear about these guys from time to time, but I never hear about groups of people who regularly dress up and hang out in real life in-character as any other particular sci fi/fantasy race (at least not when it wasn't some kinky sex thing). I imagine the reasons are:

1) The age and ubiquitousness of Star Trek, versus other franchises with Klingon-like races

2) A massive and detailed "canon" for the appearance, culture, and language of Klingons, created by professional artists and writers rather than largely extrapolated by fat kids in costumes

3) If you're big and fat, you can still contrive to be a convincing warrior as a Klingon because you are wearing so much costume and make-up. Then you can talk big and fight each other and otherwise take out your emotionally-stunted aggression on each other in a non-destructive manner, comfortable in the knowledge that when people think you look ridiculous it will be because you are dressed like fucking Klingons, not because of how, under the costume and prosthetic forehead, you are a big fat pussy who could never intimidate anyone with your shirt off

yogarfield - 2009-03-04
when the pokemon kid falls into a wormhole this is what falls out of the other side.
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