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Desc:This week Zero Punctuation goes in the zone to nuke S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky.
Category:Video Games, Humor
Tags:stalker, zero punctuation, Yahtzee
Submitted:Caminante Nocturno
Date:10/15/08
Views:2997
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Comment count is 20
Comeuppance
Somewhat-relevant-poeBlog: I've always wondered how I would handle a post-apocalyptic world in real life. I like to think I'd handle it pretty well given my track record in such games, but really I'm more likely to be murdered by those much more manipulative and cunning than I.

It's a comfortable thought that one would be king if only the established order was upheaved, but really, you're probably not enough of a dick to last long in such endeavors. Your best bet is to raid a hunting store (grab some hunting equipment and some tents) and a military surplus store (more equipment / MREs) and get your ass into the most remote woods you can find as fast as possible. Also, hit a hobby store or something on the way - it'll probably get pretty boring after a while.
IrishWhiskey
I watch Survivorman. I've learned Gun-kata from watching Equilibrium and Trigun. I've seen Waterworld, Last of the Mohicans, and Resident Evil: Apocalypse like 20 times each. And I've stocked up on Twinkies and Pringles. So yeah, when shit hits the fan, I'm going to be set.

Dib
I already live in one of the least populated regions of the country, where hunting supplies are plentiful and walking maybe twenty minutes from my house would end up in wilderness.

I think my chances are the best you'll find overall, short of somebody in possession of a fully fueled helicopter and ran a home business of selling zombie repellent just before the doomy doom.

zatojones
Here's how it would go:

1. You'd eventually run out of clean water, starve, or get sick
2. You would die

If you have a family add a step where you get to watch them do those things first

Comeuppance
Zatojones, isn't that what happens pretty much always?

I know there's an implied immediacy in your statement, but if none of the things you listed happened, one would never die unless murdered.

Solution: Stock up on antibiotics (now), choose a wooded location with a stream, and learn to boil water.

TeflonDoc
I was just going to open a bar. I would call it Nero's, and it would be all kinds of badass. I might just do that, anyway. Since Bennigans closed, there is a hole in my life that used to serve watered down beer and fried rat with a side of raspberry jam.

StanleyPain
Read Cormac McCarthy's "The Road." That's probably how it will really play out for 95% of most people around the world.

Wouldn't make a very good video game, though.

Syd Midnight
I live right next to Lake Erie, so I'd become a fisherman. Then probably die from eating fish from Lake Eire.

ProfessorChaos
The best partbestpartbestpartbestpartbestpart

And whistling for a baboon!
Ursa_minor
I've been obsessed with stalker games since they came out, and I've been obsessed with Clear Sky for the last few days. They are buggy, fucked up, weird, hard as shit, but also completely compelling. There aren't any other games like it, for better or worse.
RomancingTrain
the part with the desk is really funny.
citrusmirakel
NOOO I'M SHY!

This was my favorite in some time. Matter of fact, I think I'm gonna watch it again.
Camonk
This one was my favorite in months because it was actually funny. Maybe he should cut back and do them more rarely.

Unmerciful Crushing Force
Thebestpartbestpartbestpartbestpartbestpartbestpartbestpartbestpar t
RockBolt
I just about restarted my computer there
Big Beef Burritos Supreme
angry policemen are on their way
KnowFuture
you're going to be just as useless after the downfall of society as you are now, NERD


Also +5 for small, medium, and large kitties.
Michael Houser
Do you think the Midwest will rise in popularity after the apocalypse?
Xenocide
Five for PRESS X TO TOIL THANKLESSLY.

Someday there will be a game all about the stupid, pointless annoyances you have to deal with in life just so you can get to the stuff you really want to do. OH WAIT THEY MADE THAT GAME IT'S CALLED GTA IV LOLOLOLOLOLOL
kiint
STARZ for smiley nuclear cloud @ 1:38
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