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Desc:When I was younger, I told the Lord that I wanted to marry the girl He wanted me to.
Category:Religious
Tags:dating, kissing, christians, virgin, waiting
Submitted:lucienpsinger
Date:01/03/09
Views:3118
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Comment count is 30
stage
Ive never seen a Dad so proud..
chumbucket
or so dubbed

Ghoul
What if you wait for your wedding day, and you find out that your partner doesn't know where the clitoris is?
Xenocide
The clitoris is a sin.

puddin p
The what?

dead_cat
What if you wait for your wedding day and find out that your partner kisses like a dead fish?

I especially like how the father is clearly thinking to himself, "Yep, that's the guy I want bangin' my daughter, awww yeah."

So much evil. A 5 well earned.

baleen
I will kiss all of your daughters.
TeenerTot
Creepy.
Enjoy
Dang. They didn't show the scene were dad gives him the key to her chastity belt.
DrVital
Her mouth picked A, but her eyes said B.

Also, it's good that he didn't ask his daughter about Men because I'm pretty sure that Frederick may have kissed a few.
foopants
Ha! Saw this one on the local Christian channel a year ago. The whole movie (Pamela's Prayer) is worth watching. Non-stop laughs ;)
Xenocide
On Jessica's wedding night, her husband took one look at her hymenless womanhood, screamed "WHORE! WHORE!" and ran out out of the room, but not before setting Jessica's hair on fire. The next day he had the marriage annulled.

Deep down, Jessica knew she deserved this.
dead_cat
On Jessica's wedding night, her husband took one look at her virginal womanhood, and thought to himself, "If this is what it takes to prove I ain't a FAG..." and steeled himself for the upcoming herculean task.

Deep down, Jessica knew she deserved this.

citrusmirakel
I know this is something we like to say - it's glib and while technically untrue, it is illustrative of a point we are trying to make, so therefore it becomes acceptable. But that said, after watching that father, I mean it when I say that I need to take a shower immediately.
coprolalia
This is one of those days here when you should have come with a hazmat suit.

KnowFuture
I never knew the DVD of the film adaptation of "A Handmaid's Tale" had deleted scenes.
revdrew
It seems to me that Christian fundamentalism is just a constant game of one-upmanship. "Your daughter took a chastity pledge? HA! The tramp. I won't let my little girl even look a man in the eye until her wedding night."
coprolalia
Ten Hail Marys every time I take a shit.

Before AND after!

seriouslyuguys
I'll only wash my hands with holy water. It's a real pain getting the reverend to keep me in constant stock, but it's worth it for my eternal salvation.

Caminante Nocturno
Is Dad deliberately trying to look as creepy as possible?


UnderANeonHalo
I remember sleeping with a virgin, it's the best sex you'll ever have. That is if you enjoy watching a girl whence in pain as you repeatedly thrust your blood drenched dick into her. I still look at the stains on my mattress and remember that night.
citrusmirakel
So, you kept the mattress?

You romantic, you!

Screwtape
seconded, not worth it.

futurebot
Norm?
hammsangwich
Do you want a man on your wedding night that has never used his dick before to leave you with nothing but a sticky mess on the sheets and a mind filled with confusion?
Lauritz Melchior
Don't forget about a belly filled with sperm!

sliggy
I knew kids in high school who said they wanted to save their first kiss for their wedding night. Most of them were actually gay, and the rest had bigger problems.
lucienpsinger
It's heartwarming that Dad finally found a young Christian man virgin enough for his loser daughter.

When I found this VHS and looked at the back for the director, I was sure it was the same guy that directed "Jesus, Man!" movie Second Glance. I was mistaken; it's his twin brother.
lucienpsinger
And it has now been yanked from YouTube by said twin brother. Sorry.

Quad9Damage
It would have been great if they grabbed each other and shared a deep, tongue-down-the-throat kiss right after dad nodded his approval.
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