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Desc:DEAR GOD THINK OF THE CHILDREN
Category:News & Politics
Tags:gay marriage, republicans, Gays, Mormons, nom
Submitted:StanleyPain
Date:05/20/09
Views:3044
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Comment count is 56
charmlessman
OHHHHH NOOOOO!!!
OUR KIDS WILL LEARN ABOUT STUFF THAT EXISTS!!!!
glasseye
NEXT THINK YOU KNOW THEM THAR SCHOOLS WILL BE EDUMACATING THEM! I DONE HEARD THAT EDUMACATION BE THE LEADING CAUSE OF ATHEISM!!!111~~

BOOSH
CHILDREN HAVE TO BE TOLD ABOUT SOMETHING!

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS!


BOOSH
the all caps brigade seems to be out in force today

charmlessman
YES WE ARE!!!

dementomstie
DIDN'T YOU GET THE MONTHLY cAPS bRIGADE E-MAIL?

Kumquatxop
OF COURSE HE DID; NOTICE HIS NAME IS IN ALL CAPS

BOOSH
ALL CAPS REPRESENT


Merzbau
that's right we're here we're-

oh no im doin it rong


Stog
A NEW WAY OF THINKING!?!?!!?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NewHeavenSalesman
One of my classmates in law school is out today to protest in New Hampshire against Lynch's probable signing of the bill. He's yet to give a single coherent reason for being against it, but yeah.

It's pretty fucking retarded.
Caminante Nocturno
Our kids will be taught a new way of thinking.

This simply will not do.
oswaldtheluckyrabbit
This video makes me incredibly happy because the very fact that it was made, and in this way, shows how fucked these people are. They're panicking.
Kumquatxop
Yes. The more times I watch this, the more hilarious it gets.

Grandma, my 4th grade english class confuses me. Can we make it illegal??

dementomstie
Well honey, if your Grandpa were a woman I wouldn't have to put up with your incessant commentary.

NOM: You should look into the Grandfather Paradox. Do your research Mormon Church!
Rodents of Unusual Size
"Grandma, what's a time paradox? And am I really a clone of you, who will go back in time and do the nasty with my grandpa? IM CONFUSED"

astropod five
Grandma, my teacher says in an alternate timeline you could have married a different man! Then my parents would have been different people! Then who would I have turned out to be? Whoa, that's deep, man.
Billie_Joe_Buttfuck
Please spam Senator Shithat's phone line.
Andonyx
I find it confusing that youtube reviewers of all possible groups seem to find this video insipid as well. At least if the star rating is to be believed.
Billie_Joe_Buttfuck
Maybe they're actually trying to kill the Republican Party with stupid bullshit.

citrusmirakel
Well, whatever happens, they're done apologizing, damn it!

phalsebob
"God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve," is such a terrible argument, but "Anna and Eve"? I don't know what to say about the Anna and Eve arguement except that it kinda makes me feel tingly in my NO! zone.
Camonk
Two naked ladies rolling around in a primal garden.

The snake wouldn't be messin' that up with no fancy apples. He'd just be chillaxin' in that tree, watchin'.

Udderdude
hawt.

mashedtater
Camonk i think you are my favorite person EVER

chumbucket
whew! I'm SO relieved that SOMEONE thought of the children!
Simian Pride
Meanwhile, forty-two years ago...


"My teacher sez that if granpa was a negro that's OK you can still be married."

- If we change the definition of marriage....

"Adam and Eve was both white? How so old fashioned."

- Our kids will be taught a new way of thinking!

"He shoulda created Adam & Eleasha."

"If my Dad married a negress, would I still be white?"

"I'm confused!"

- Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, and red, and he placed them on separate continents. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix. Call Senator Welcome today and tell her how you feel about her Miscegenation Bill.
pastorofmuppets
This is NOM we're talking about (read: LDS). God/Elohim didn't just create the different races, blacks were actually *cursed* with black skin for being undecided after Lucifer tried to subvert the great spirit council.

I'm not even sure what their explanation for red skin is. My best guess is lots of paprika.

pressed peanut sweepings
The redskins are the evil Amerijews that slaughtered the good Amerijews. That's what makes the red man red.

dueserpenti
So are we going to make every decision about our society based on how five-year olds feel about it? The American Broccoli Council will be livid.
Rodents of Unusual Size
Call Governor Lynch today and tell him that you're a cunt.
fluffy
As always, their scary statements of what might happen aren't things I see as a bad thing.
Hooker
My child will grapple with concepts that I myself refuse to? Hells no!
Wonko the Sane
d.i.a.f.
erratic
"if my dad marries a man, who will be my mom?"

gee, i dunno, maybe.... YOUR MOM!

yes, that's right. when gay marriage is legal, that will mean that when your parents divorce becuase your gay dad was guilted into marrying a woman because his priest said that it would turn him straight, your mother will no longer be your mother!
Toenails
damn you erratic, you must have uploaded that comment while I was typing mine up!

I guess my 5 stars for the video must transfer to you now. That's how the POEtv star-rating system works, right?

kennydra
This is so hilariously fucking sad.
Toenails
"If my dad married a man, who would be my mom?"

Well, your mom would still be your mom, you fucking retard. I love how this seems to imply that children cannot cope with relationships more complex than parents or grandparents who married young, had babies, taught Genesis, and never got divorced.
memedumpster
They think because the governor's name is Lynch that he's got their back on this one.
Lauritz Melchior
It saddens me that some people find this a convincing argument.
pastorofmuppets
well it's not so much an argument as an itch cream to put on their searing hot cognitive dissonance

tamago
Flail for my amusement moral crusaders
Emcee
The little girl that says "God created Adam and Eve? So old-fashioned!" is totally not feeling it.
Konversekid
I thought children were the retards that don't know how to take care of themselves and have to learn to adapt.
memedumpster
They also make great slaves to your agenda!

Quad9Damage
I can't wait for the audition video.
Xenocide
This really is the best they've got folks. Kids asking questions about stuff. This is their apocalypse.
pastorofmuppets
Your comment got me to thinking.

My immediate response was, "that's because they're dedicated to an ideology. It looks orderly and beautiful inside their mind, but with the real world as a backdrop it becomes fragile and pointless, even ugly."

And all at once, "Winesburg, Ohio" popped into my brain. It's been at least 10 years since I read it. But I understand the introduction to it now with a clarity that I probably lacked back then.

http://www.bartleby.com/156/1.html

(i am NOT stoned)

kingofthenothing
thanks for sharing that with us. That was a pretty good story, and I can understand the life changing quality a freaky dream can have.
colander
hi mom today in class we ate computers made out of rocks and the teacher said we didn't live out in nature because if we lived out in nature we'd be made out of wood and rocks and if i married a rock i actually really couldn't because only rocks aren't made out of wood. can i have an ice cream sandwich?
Bozo
Favorite comment ever

IrishWhiskey
Why do so many of their arguments seem to assume that unless gay marriage is passed, homosexuals won't exist? Whether their relationships are recognized by the state or not, kids are still going to find out about Heather's two mommies sooner or later. Possible from all these anti-gay ads being put out by Christian groups.
Blue
Having been that child, I have heard the answer to those questions, and let me tell you, it's filthy. It's a long string of lurid descriptions of deviant sex acts.
dead_cat
Please think of the children! Because mommy drank like a longshoreman while pregnant and now they can't!!
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