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Desc:More ironclad Christian logic.
Category:Religious, Educational
Tags:aids, christians, condoms, third eagle of the apocalypse, jacket mic
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Comment count is 42
Jeff Fries - 2009-12-04
Honestly I don't like to agree with Christians but he's right, keep it in your pants guys b/c you never know and then what
gotterdamm - 2009-12-04
Jeff Fries doesn't believe in having sex.

Our gene pool thanks you.

mashedtater - 2009-12-05
then what WHAT? we all get magic unicorns?

ashtar. - 2010-09-01
he didn't finish because he was raptured up, unlike you unwashed, onanite sons of

oddeye - 2009-12-04
This is BS I use condoms all the time and I still get ruptured.
pastorofmuppets - 2009-12-04
That is an interesting lavalier mic. At this angle it almost looks like a regular mic that some jackass stuck in a coat.
pastorofmuppets - 2009-12-04
missed the tag, sorry. SORRY FOLKS

pastorofmuppets - 2009-12-04
Who invented the game of sex? I dunno, eukaryotes?

Actually, that can't be it because it doesn't leave room for God to reward his virginity.
TimidAres - 2009-12-04
I wonder how many christians realize that the concept of the rapture is only roughly 300 years old.
It was created by some english guy in the 1700s.
Kieran27 - 2009-12-04
Probably the same amount who actually read the full story of Onan this fellow mentions here. Anyway, most folks who believe in the Rapture don't read the Bible very carefully, but prefer the spoonfed pablum this guy and others like him write.

pastorofmuppets - 2009-12-04
The young earth concept is not much older.

Although, to be fair, I doubt anyone from antiquity would have placed it at 4 billion years. Depending on how far back you go there wasn't even a good way of expressing numbers that large.

TeenerTot - 2009-12-04
There's nothing like christian asshattery to make me repeatedly give the finger to my monitor.
lucienpsinger - 2009-12-05
At times I feel stupid flicking off inanimate objects, but sometimes they deserve it.

Aernaroth2 - 2009-12-04
Guess this guy never played Kings at Bible College if he can't think of a game where players make the rules.
poorwill - 2009-12-04
Or Calvinball!

B_Ko - 2009-12-04
or Fluxx.

Rum Revenge - 2009-12-04
All my stars for B.

cognitivedissonance - 2009-12-04
Or D&D 3.5.

crote - 2009-12-04
You have to respect a guy who calls himself the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse.

I respect and appreciate you, William Tapley, even if these others do not.
phalsebob - 2009-12-04
At least we know by his name that he's not in it for his ego.

Rudy - 2009-12-04
He's also the Co-Prophet of the Apocalypse. I wonder who the other one is.

Riskbreaker - 2009-12-04
I wonder who are the other two.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2009-12-04
More free cars for me.
magnesium - 2009-12-04
Did he just say that withdrawal is a Planned Parenthood method of birth control?
Kieran27 - 2009-12-05
Yes, but to be fair, he probably was trying to imply anything that is not either abstinence or a heterosexual married couple is inherently evil. I don't believe he's bothered to check to see what Planned Parenthood teaches. Can't have those nasty facts getting in the way of the Rapture.

pastorofmuppets - 2009-12-05
I'm not about to re-watch it, but it sounded like he was saying that any sort of contraception is bad. If you are going to use the "spilling seed" passage as the basis for sexual morality then it doesn't seem like there's any wiggle room: sex without the intention of making future Christian soldiers is wrong.

I wonder how he feels about the rhythm method.

chumbucket - 2009-12-04
I thought the fourth horseman appears only to tell us when we have the crabs
Cleaner82 - 2009-12-04
Sex is a game? Okay.

Alright that'll do, I heard you, sex is a game.

Okay then, see you later.
Timothy A. Bear - 2009-12-04
If you don't play by God's Rules He will take His Balls and go home.

Also, Third Eagle of the Apocalypse is broadcasting waistdeep from an ice fishing hole and doesn't even feel cold.
pressed peanut sweepings - 2009-12-04
At least Dr. Breen will be less destructive as a born-again.
wtf japan - 2009-12-04
God killed Onan because he refused to give his dead brother (who God also killed, incidentally) an heir by impregnating his dead brother's wife as mandated by Hebraic Law at that time. God did not go around killing everyone who used the withdrawal method. He was too busy killing people for other things, like looking in the wrong direction or saving the Arc of the Covenant from falling on the ground.

This is one of the least ambiguous passages of the Bible, and you have to be a complete retard to interpret it incorrectly.
cognitivedissonance - 2009-12-04
I always assumed that that was just some really important ground he was spilling his seed upon, like God's grandmother's flower garden or something. I'd be pissed too.

Rev. Blackson Pollock - 2010-01-19
It goes even deeper than that. Onan was supposed to continue the messianic bloodline for his dead brother but didn't want to because he wanted it to be passed on to his decendants so he nailed his brothers wife but had no intention of knocking her up. Hence the post coitus smiting. It wasn't because he pulled out it was because he was ambitious.

stage - 2009-12-04
Is pulling out ok?
simon666 - 2009-12-04
Sex is wrong unless you're married, that's why you need to practice buggery and blowjobs.

charmlessman - 2009-12-04
The game of sex?

Next time I get laid, I'm going to hi-five my partner and say, "Good game!"
Udderdude - 2009-12-05
gg no re

Xenocide - 2009-12-04
BAM! Jack Van Impe just got SERVED.

memedumpster - 2009-12-04
This guy again!

Christians : Making hell look good, one word at a time.
Runic - 2009-12-05
Five stars for evil.
spork865 - 2010-01-25
I wonder how it feels to be this dense. Really. When was the last time you saw a dude be struck down for pulling out?

woodenbandman - 2010-11-29
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