|Riskbreaker - 2010-01-06 |
This game is love.
|poorwill - 2010-01-06 |
I remember when all videogames were like this. In my head.
Those were fun times.
|Cleaner82 - 2010-01-06 |
Lapels don't do that. Hey buddy. Tell your lapels to stop doing that.
Lapels to stop doing that. *shrug*
I'd give you guys stars if this wasn't my submission.
|Innocent Bystander - 2010-01-06 |
So... Is the last boss in this game God, perhaps?
I'm pretty sure God is the first boss, but you fight him again in the boss parade before the final one.
|dead_cat - 2010-01-06 |
What the fuck is up with her head and neck?!
|Sanest Man Alive - 2010-01-06 |
A remix of motherfucking "Fly Me to the Moon". I'd say that puts Bayonetta squarely on the side of evil.
|oogaBooga - 2010-01-06 |
How cute, it thinks it's being clever.
Eat shit you fucking cunt.
|Hooper_X - 2010-01-06 |
This gave me a headache. On multiple levels.
Plus the gameplay is dog shit, dumbed the fuck down overly simplistic shit. On top of that the music makes me want to make out it with a revved up chainsaw.
also to those who think her body proportions look really fucking stupid and goofy as hell, if your wondering what she would look like sans the bizarre proportions check this out:
Bayonetta's anatomical freakishness is unprecedented in life or anime. I try to tell people but they don't listen!!! They just cross the street!
"Plus the gameplay is dog shit, dumbed the fuck down overly simplistic shit. On top of that the music makes me want to make out it with a revved up chainsaw."
There is no way you aren't weigh 320 pounds of manfat. No fucking way.
DON'T weigh. Fuck yoooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The gameplay of Bayonetta is a lot of fun, go back to mash the same move a hundred times in God of Gaiden Sigma or whatever you people consider good action games.
Poorwill: "There is no way you aren't weigh 320 pounds of manfat. No fucking way."
Actually I weigh 172lbs, I wasn't aware my distaste for a game is proportionate to my weight? if that is the case considering how you seem to pretty much hate everything, I'm gonna go and guess you weigh a metric ton? wow...it sure is fun to pull stuff out of my ass, now I know how you feel =D
Riskbreaker: I agree with you on the fact most people seem to really dig that god of war type shit, and oh is it shit. That said while I don't particularly like Bayonetta...wait hold on *stuffs face with Chocodiles and yak lard* ok where was i? oh yeah in any case while I don't like Bayonetta, within the same token I fucking loathe all the "God of Gaiden Sigma" type games as you so eloquently put it.
This is now lowering the entire human race. Thanks, argumentative nerds
The real problem with the God of War games is not just that the gameplay gets tedious after a while, it's the long boss fights that kill any rush you could feel with the games. This seems to be a common trait with boss fights of the last and current console generation. Longer just doesn't mean better.
The real problem with them is that they are Todd McFarlane's Greek Mythology. I was fucking blown away when I saw people thought Bayonetta was actually serious. If you want a painfully self-serious macho angstfest that is basically Disturbed - the videogame, you go play God of War. Bayonetta is obviously over the top animu fetishist tripe, and it is completely aware of that and goofs on it all the time. I don't think some folks are aware of just how screwball this clip really is - the characters are basically giving Sonic's arch-nemesis Dr Robotnik a burial in the first scene.
Reading some of the reviews is like a deja vu when God Hand came out. "The writting is campy", then you go and read people praising Uncharted's story, and the irony seems to completely escape them.
Nathan Drake :barf: He is the red M & M with stubble.
Bayonetta :3 :3 :3
What the fuck is wrong with you guys?
|Adham Nu'man - 2010-01-06 |
|Meerkat - 2010-01-06 |
Is she shooting stilettos out of her stiletto heels?
|spikestoyiu - 2010-01-06 |
Unless you're nine years old, you have absolutely no excuse for misspelling "ridiculous."
I have no idea what you're talking about. It's spelled correctly.
|RocketBlender - 2010-01-06 |
It's a good sign for a game when I can't even get 15 minutes in without pausing to find a clip from it to submit here.
|phalsebob - 2010-01-06 |
This started with so much promise of awesome, then came the let down. Also, what the hell is the deal with that awful jpop in some kind of zombie game.
|chumbucket - 2010-01-06 |
so all of the people that made this game are dead?
oh and the pile of guns
|Harold Manchester - 2010-01-06 |
That's the stupidest shit I've ever seen.
|Billie_Joe_Buttfuck - 2010-01-06 |
God lets her do magic.
|MaulLove - 2010-01-06 |
Don't forget the mode that let's you play with one hand so you can jerk it as her clothes come off.
|Camonk - 2010-01-06 |
I'd say I wish I had a fucking clue what was going on here, but I have a feeling that even hours of context wouldn't help.
|memedumpster - 2010-01-06 |
This is embarrassingly bad, even by video game standards.
|Riskbreaker - 2010-01-06 |
Yeah, videogames that are not realistic should not exist, geez, get a clue game companies.
It's not the lack of realism that does it in, it's the sense that they thought they were making a serious game and failed utterly. They should have just strived to make it as big a comedy as possible, it could have really shined.
Whether the game exists or not isn't going to stop her tiny little head from creeping me out.
It's quite clear that the makers of this game were hardly going for an "ubber serious" gaming opera or something like that. They're having fun with the material, we are talking about the people behind Okami, Viewtful Joe and there's also part of the staff of God Hand. Was Okami a serious lecture in japanese folk legends? VJ an introspective look at the superheroe cliches? God Hand a Sergie Leone epic? The ones taking this way too seriously are you guys.
yeah i gotta go and agree, Bayonetta maybe a lot of things but serious ain't one of them.
If you don't realize this game has its tongue so far in its cheek it risks serious dental injury, there's no hope for you appreciating any form of satire.
Videogames are serious business in poetv.
|oogaBooga - 2010-01-06 |
Invisible 5 for poorwill vehemently defending this piece of shit.
|James Woods - 2010-01-06 |
This is basically a porno where guns happen instead of sexing. I prefer the old format personally.
|oddeye - 2010-01-06 |
I was all ready to hate this game when I played the demo but it turns out it's actually kinda fun. I'd definately rent it and one-hand my way through while playing dwarf fortress.
|a flaming monkey - 2010-01-06 |
This looks like Devil May Cry with a Nun/Devil/thing as the main character. The music seems very unnecessary.
|Baby Finster - 2010-01-07 |
I bet Uwe Boll has a Bayonetta screenplay sitting on his desk right now.
|atheistgirl - 2010-01-11 |
What's with all the gold rings? Is she Sonic?
|Raggamuffin - 2010-01-13 |
She has gun shoes and when she kicks you she also shoots you.
Bayonetta looks the way white women look to the Japanese.
OH MY FUCKING GOD.
I think you figured it out. My theory was it was made for birds with a human fetish.
|FABIO - 2010-04-20 |
The cutscenes for this game were 10% awesome, 90% tedioius talky anime filler. The last boss' speech was on par with a Xenosaga game for overly long empty pretension.
The gameplay is even more one dimensional than God of War. At least in GoW you had to flick the dodge stick in a certain direction inbetween mashing the attack button. Bayonetta as long as you're hammering the dodge button you're invincible.
Apart from graphics and animations, there wasn't anything this game did that Devil May Cry 3 didn't completely blow away.
|Charles - 2010-05-21 |
Yes. This is about the level of retarded I was expecting of this game. And like, 90 percent of any new games. One star for dull evil.
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