Why did they make the guy who killed Dracula such a tool?
Cause the writers were huge Anne Rice fans and they hated that he killed sensitive, bi-curious vampires all the time.
Why is this a hundred hours long. Why did they need to abuse shitty ol' slow-mo to make it funny. Why did they need to pretend that he was saying cusses.
Those are the real questions.
Because if he'd been even half as awesome as he is in the games, everybody would have immediately noticed how uninteresting and stupid the main character is.
What the @#$%!! was that?! They turned Simon Belmont into an idiotic, egomaniac? They turned Mega Man into a cross between R2-D2 and C3P0? Did the guys who write this series even know what a Nintendo LOOKED like?!
Sort of. One of the characters was a man-sized Gameboy.
1:39 ordering Pit to get him a whore, what a douche-icus.
I want a pistol-grip hand mirror.
Clearly, that's Peter O'Toole.
Oh shit, and he's only like three feet tall, and his girlfriend is just a woman with a dog-nose. I had all but forgotten just how unintentionally /wonderful/ this stupid show was.
|Dr. Lobotomy |
They didn't show him simply tear off that giant gorilla's toenail. I still remember how fucking painful that looked.
See, he's really vain because he's from CastleVAINia, right? Right?
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