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Desc:...Machete has a special Cinco de Mayo message for Arizona...
Category:Classic Movies
Tags:robert rodriguez, machete
Submitted:Jack Dalton
Date:05/05/10
Views:2498
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Comment count is 69
boner
Seagal and Deniro! Together at last!
craptacular
THE fall from grace of the decade.

tmavomodry
i hope the police in New Orleans were able to get the job done while Seagal was away shooting this picture

grimcity
I'm spent.
chumbucket
any trailer that has "he knows the score" in it, is for a movie I'm likely to go see
Night Train to Mundo Fine
I fucking love Michelle Rodriguez.
mon666ster
Seconded.

fatatty
I like how she really stretches her range in this movie as the badass hot latina chick.

spikestoyiu
As much as she loves vaginas?

poorwill
I was like wtf when did Michelle Rodriguez get hot?

F3AR
She got hot when she turned 12, where you been?

Night Train to Mundo Fine
Yes, she is the same character in every movie.

Good thing that character is AWESOME.

kingarthur
I love Michelle Rodriguez. I don't car if she only dates chicks, I'd set her up with one to please her.

Camonk
Finally, Danny Trejo in a movie where he won't die five minutes in.

Plus, of course, we all know that Danny Trejo is a MexiCAN.
freedoom
Where are my wife and daughter?
theSnake
AWESOME
Blolf Witzer
Out a window and then IN TO ANOTHER window hell yes
longwinded
Yeah
Chizmurder
Introducing Don Johnson
Wander
Oh, Don Johnson.

MacGyver Style Bomb
I was sold by "I'll see what I can do."
manning_krull
Holy fucking shit.
Sean Robinson
KILL GRINGOS.
Riskbreaker
I dislike the movies of Robert Rodriguez, but good lord, this is just too perfect to be real.
Rodents of Unusual Size
The fact that this is better than any trailer I've seen all year is proof that Hollywood does not give money to good enough ideas.

pineapplejuicer
oh my god you guys. oh my god. if this lives up to the potential put forth by this trailer, can it be the official movie of PoETV?

or will that title forever belong to Teen Witch and whatever "GARBAGE DAY!" was from
Cena_mark
God forbid we actually enforce the laws of our country.
MacGyver Style Bomb
Hey, look who's back everybody!

Riskbreaker
Machete is coming for you Cena.

Cena_mark
Man I'll fuck that ol' fool up. I'm good with swords too. I'll drop him through a table and ship him back to Mexico.

The Faghorn
How many swords do you own, though? Is it a trenchcoat full?

Cena_mark
No I own 3 Plus 2 Machetes. There's no need for all those blades. Two will do . Plus I got 100% American Muscle.

Cena_mark
Now you wanna run around talking about swords like I ain't got none. What you think I sold them all?

poorwill
Do you have a Great Sword? I bet you do.

pineapplejuicer
"A just law is a man-made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law. To put it in the terms of Saint Thomas Aquinas, an unjust law is a human law that is not rooted in eternal and natural law. Any law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust." - Martin Luther King, Jr. Letter from Birmingham City Jail

im glad you're back cena. i own two swords and one machete, and 5 ghost stars for the dr. dre reference.

Cleaner82
Cena_mark sweeps open his long black duster to reveal A HALF DOZEN PARTICLE BOARD TABLES STRAPPED TO HIS CHEST

La Loco
I aspire to your troll levels cena, but alas, you will always be king here. If I actually thought you were serious I'd hate you.

Aelric
So, how is military life, Cena? What is your unit? Or was it all a big obvious lie?

poorwill
He is now the head of the greatsword unit - America's first line of defence against pig carcasses.

Cena_mark
Pineassholejuicer: Don't use MLK in defense of the Mexican invasion. Blacks were forced here, Mexicans sneak in here. Mexican is not the new black. Mexicans don't suffer a 10th of the shit blacks went through.
La Loco: I am serious. The best Pro-wrestling gimmicks were ones where the wrestler took a part of his personality and amplifies it. Stone Cold is actually a redneck. The Rock is actually quite the clown, John Cena is really into hip hop. So here on the internet I express how I feel without normal social constraints. This is me 100% uncensored and unrestrained. So feel free to hate me.
Aleric: I'm still working on it. I'll be in the military soon. I've just had to overcome some road blocks.

Aelric
Still working on it? You said you were going in, signed and everything, about a year ago. You'd be getting your first promotion by now. This must be the longest goddamn recruitment ever. Did the recruiter see you cutting yourself on YouTube and figure you weren't worth the eventual section 8? You talk such amazing horseshit. You are like the Karl Pilkington of POETV.

Cena_mark
Its not bullshit Aleric. When you want to go Semper Paratus it takes much longer than going Semper Fidelis.

Aelric
It doesn't take a year and still you offer no proof, you fucking chickenhawk poser. We asked you for a recruitment video, a pretty easy and common thing to film. You insult every solider by pretending to be one for cheap political nonsense on a silly little funny joke website. You are not a patriot, you are just goofy comic relief.

And even if I'm wrong and everything you say is true, you are still a section 8 waiting to happen, even if you used fake blood on your little "Obama wins" video. Outbursts like that aren't fucking tolerated in the corp. You'll also be taking marching orders from that same Kenyan Muslim you hate so well, so why would you join now? If it is all true, though, and you happen to get shuffled off to South Korea, I'd love to slip you a mickey and anally penetrate you, so part of me hopes it is all real. Keep in touch.

mashedtater
if you arent in a unit, where the fuck where you? dont tell us you found something better to do then have all your cardboard arguments knocked over because of no support?

Syd Midnight
The only thing that will settle this is a video response from Cena_Mark, directly rebutting Mr. Trejo. Let's step back and allow the gentlemen to debate.

Jellyneck
HAHAHAHA
Jellyneck
meant to be a reply to Cena Mark, but whatever. I can laugh at him at any quote level.

Cena_mark
Laughing at me Jellydick? Tell me why my statement was so ludicrous. Why should I get on the "Lets just let them break our laws and leach off our programs" band wagon?

charmlessman
I love it when Mexicans break our laws!!!

socialist_hentai
One day Cena! I swear by Zalmoxis I will cross the Atlantic in a row-boat and get to America and when I do I will get welfare and free health-care and father 10 children to enroll in public school just to spite you. And I will also learn to Spanish and refuse to speak English.

socialist_hentai
To speak Spanish god dammit!

Jellyneck
Jellydick! you still got it, man. Nice!

I've got to go hire some day laborers to abort white fetuses, but I'll be back soon to have a serious debate on immigration reform. Don't you go anywhere, ok?

kwash
STOP RUINING THIS FUCKING AWESOME VIDEO WITH TIRED TROLLING

Cena_mark
Capitalist Realporn: Doesn't your country have immigration problems of its own? You should be on my side. You're country is steadily becoming Mecca, mine is becoming Taco Bell.

Camonk
DAMN. Romania wins, cause Arabic food kicks ASS, but Americanized Mexican food is boring.

charmlessman
BONER!!!
FABIO
Starring Jessica Alba and Robert DeNiro trying to do comedy =(
nemeses9
"Lindsay Lohan"

...fuck.
Riskbreaker
She seems to appear purely as decoration. Alba's attempts at acting do need to cease once and for all.

pineapplejuicer
but the border crossed them

Riskbreaker
I would gladly cross her border any day.

KnowFuture
You could suck away all the stars from every other thing on this site and you would probably still fall short of enough for dual shotgun-wielding priest Cheech Marin.
frau_eva
HELL YES, you had me at gun-wielding nuns.

This is going to be the best movie ever.
Riskbreaker
youtube comments:

"If Kissinger and the Illuminati didn't control South America and weren't trafficking drugs there and stealing farmland, then those attacked and robbed by Israeli Zionist would not be looking for low paid work elsewhere."
CornOnTheCabre
Well, when you put it that way...

Aelric
Add some Greek gods and I'd say Robert Anton Wilson was still alive.

Jeriko-1
Nuked.

Apparently Fox denies any direct involvement with this trailer. Next step is of course FNORDing it.
Riskbreaker
Yep, seems that the campaign to kill the movie has began from Fox.

Caminante Nocturno
I'm going to watch the HELL out of this movie!
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