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Desc:Barely SFW Scene by scene breakdown of a seventies porn abomination. Funny.
Category:Classic Movies, Horror
Tags:Evil, john seeman, torture porn, 70s porn
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
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Comment count is 13
Laura Branigancore
These stars are for this picture on the site:

http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/8/m_1cb783922a9945 d9a2d55d61e452b8bc.jpg

which pretty much sums up my idea of heaven ca. 6th grade.
-2 in spirit because I couldn't get all the way through the video. The writing's OK, but the guy's voice needs work.

In agreement with the others regarding his voice. This era of nerdy drawling reviewers confusing LOUD VOICES for comedy gold needs to end.

As is such, he seemed to mention "torture porn" unironically, so fuck him.

That thumbnail image I linked to is still worth 5 stars, though.

Incidentally, I hope everyone here is aware that there is, in fact, a porn version of The Seven Faces Of Dr. Lau.
B. Weed


Wow, he's really not that funny. And his voice makes me certain that he's owned chainmail and/or RED DWARF dvds in his youth.

Good line about fucking the boom mic, though.
Ironically, that's about where I had to stop.

John Holmes Motherfucker
What the fuck does that video game credit sequence have to do with anything?

I submitted this because it's a lot closer to the edited version of Hard Gore I would have submitted a month or so ago if I'd had the knowledge to do all that blanking out of crotches and nips.

Since then, I've had a chance to do some looking around on his site, and I recommend his review of Dolemite.

I really should know better than to say something is funny in the video description. I'm just asking for it. Is he really "not that funny"? For myself, I can't decide, but I like his voice more than the writing.
I personally think he is way funnier than a lot of other online video reviewers.

He seems to think that the only way to make a line funny is to interject curses in a raised voice, through clenched FUH-KING teeth.

Really, it just makes him sound like a 17-year-old.

Regarding his 'voice' - The Cinema Snob is a character that he does and that voice is part of the act. Watch his non-Snob reviews to hear what he really sounds like.
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