I love how he basically says that if you ever end up yelling at a kid, you're the one who's the idiot:
"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?"
"Um, no, Dad, I actually don't. My cognitive functions are still developing."
you should watch all the episodes of his television show "louie" on fx. it's post-seinfeld existentialist humor at its best. add some thought to a trivial situation, and everything is suddenly so hilariously fucking hard to cope with.
My dog, who is now 11, ate almost an entire bottle of Aspirin (including the plastic bottle) and I basically went through the same thing. Luckily my dog will eat anything if you play it up, and I fed her Tums and other antacids until she puked out the aspirin and shit out the plastic bottle. Luckily I didn't have to resort to kicking and punching her, although she used to bite people a lot, until I picked up this 50 lb. dog and bit her side REALLY fucking hard, and she never bit anyone after that.
everyone that has a big dog has, at some point, some story of some time they had to do something out of necessity that they're not proud of. I have mine, and that's all I'm going to say about that.