|Father Avalanche |
Morning Coffee Ruined.
Also, I think dick pills is going to be my new band name.
|Louis Armstrong |
All these girls are too fat for me. I mean really, I'm puking my guts out looking at all that cellulite.
Ew, I know right? Their fat is practically pouring out of my screen. Gross. I mean yeah I'd have sex with them and probably date them for a few months and maybe we'd move in together and have a meaningful relationship and possibly get married provided her family likes me and we've established a deep physical and emotional bond. Other than that, yuck. Fat.
|Jet Bin Fever |
|John Holmes Motherfucker |
"Because... what if... I don't want to say it... Hahaha! I mean, it's in there and you can't even feel it."
--Nilant, 23 year old connoisseur of cocks.
stars for the reference to it as "equipment"
|American Standard |
Ahahah. So expertly calculated.
What do men fear from women, more than anything else? Being laughed at.
Five for evil. Even despite the bad acting and forced disgust.
I can't watch this at work, but here are my 5 stars because this just HAS to be the epitome of evil.
Girls making you feel bad, guys?
Gay accepts all sizes.
Gay, it's only a choice until you try it(TM)!
Doesn't it have to be a certain size to hit the prostate? And is there a high demand for curved penises in the gay community?
CAN'T BE A MAN IF YOU ONLY HAVE A ONE INCHER.
Let's get all these tag linked STAT. Especially "penis pity."
That seemed like a poor choice of words. I would have gone with "You can't be a man if you only have a six incher". The majority of guys that are uncomfortable about their size are average and below. Is it really helpful to your business to reassure the guy with the two inch cock that he's a real man?
Five stars for the evil of pretending that we live in a world where sex is penis in vagina intercourse and nothing else and that actually gets all (or even most) women off.
Also five stars for telling people they're broken and selling them a cure that will never fucking work. I think this is where MRAs come from.
John Holmes Motherfucker
>>Five stars for the evil of pretending that we live in a world where sex is penis in vagina intercourse and nothing else and that actually gets all (or even most) women off.
It doesn't. Because of our little tiny dicks.
|That guy |
I automatically assume that hot girls are laughing at my dick, so that's a sub-optimal use of their time, and they'll never have it back.
Now that I think about these commercials for a minute, maybe the most outrageous thing is that it taps directly into the way that some women actually talk about this kind of stuff.
It always has a ".....sorry.... I guess you should have tried harder....." smug tone to it, like some sort of self-improvement or time-on-task could help. Enter the placebo that takes that expectation, met with male anxiety, and turns it into a product.
I'm reminded of some female friends of mine who, like the girls in the commercial, want a 95th percentile cock and are in no position to choose anything because they are tragically out of shape, average looking, and in their 30's. They don't "want to settle for average" when it comes to cock size. They also want 95th percentile in looks and fitness, bedroom skill, earnings, kindness, status, dance-partnering and sense of humor.
The anthropological "sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive" thing gets asinine at times.
I mean, they're good friends, but man are they twat waffles.
|John Holmes Motherfucker |
The problem, of course, is that all these women have huge, gaping vaginas.
Like the front end of a tent left open in the wind.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Any girl with half a brain in their head will tell you that texture is far, far more important than length. That's why I've surgically replaced all of the skin on my penis with shark skin.
It certainly keeps them from laughing, especially when it's time to pull out.
Gentlemen, your solution is anal sex.
"Does the batter matter? Meaning like the pudding."
Why are all these women in their mid to late twenties dressing and acting like 16 year old girls? Is this even remotely believable? I'm a shut-in, so really, I want to know...this is not how I remember the world being....in the before times...
We're living in a post Katy Perry world, so maybe. But these ladies are undoubtedly paid actresses.
Today I heard a commercial on the radio at work for laser nipple fat removal for men.
What in the fuck has this culture done to us?
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