Tells the bartender, "Give me a tall one."
It's not that kind of establishment. Liquor and wine only. They don't serve longnecks.
A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper says "Really, you have a drink called Tom?"
Batman walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Batman says "Really, you have a drink called Bruce Wayne? ... ... Oh fuck."
Giraffe walks into a bar, the bartender says "hey, you're a giraffe! Would you like some leaves and other plants of the Mimosa genus?" Since giraffes cannot speak, he simply nods, eats his food, tips the bartender and leaves. The giraffe goes on Yelp.com to review his mostly-positive dining experience, and the fact that he was served food without ordering a drink.
The bartender whose nametag said "Phil" got on his nerves for assuming that he wanted some leaves and other plants of the Mimosa genus, like that's all giraffes eat or something. Giraffe compares it to an Italian walking into a restaurant and immediately being offered spaghetti, or even a black man with fried chicken. Reddit picks up on this, Phil loses his job and the bar is eventually forced to close its doors.
This giraffe eats, shoots and leaves.
A regular but no one knows his name.
|infinite zest |
I hate to ruin everybody's whole week/month/year, but I'm pretty sure this a cafe at a zoo, and not a bar. They'd periodically let the giraffes walk around at the Washington Park Zoo when I was a kid, usually with a harness though, but sometimes without and you could feed it.
|Binro the Heretic |
And the opossum is out in the bushes and he's all, like, "Nobody yelled at the fucking giraffe!"
Giraffes don't play dead to get out of paying.
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