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Desc:Why is this?
Category:Trailers, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:pointless sequel, token black racer
Submitted:Kharnov
Date:07/02/08
Views:1904
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Comment count is 43
Hodge
I just hope it doesn't end up being worse then the Rollerball remake.
Jimmy Labatt
And nothing is or ever will be worse than the Rollerball remake. NOTHING.

Dinkin Flicka
John McTiernan has done something worse than, say, Uwe Boll? I gotta think about this...

Jimmy Labatt
"Used to race for NASCAR..." BWAHAHAHA!! Five stars for that alone.
Hooker
I hope he has problems with right turns.

Hooper_X
A British guy who knows Movie-Fu and used to drive in NASCAR.

This film has already failed to suspend my disbelief, and that's BEFORE we get to the part where they allow prison inmates to drive supercharged heavily-armed murdermachines.

I like how they totally castrated the entire "bread and circuses" aspect of the original. Now it's just another Evil Media Conglomerate (hey, JUST LIKE THE ROLLERBALL REMAKE. go fig. Wonder if Paul Heyman will be in this one?)

sheikurbouti
"They say he killed his wife." Duh.

hornung
what just happened?

you threw away your career, joan.
Rodents of Unusual Size
I think she's going to go the route of Ian McKellan. Half art films, half films with a bunch of guys with guns. Eventually she'll play an alien or mutant or whatever and make a ton of cash and teenage boys will finally recognize her.


Kharnov
The next thing you know, they'll do a remake of Plan 9 from Outer Space, but this time it's set to a radio-friendly pseudo-punk soundtrack interspersed with horrible covers of classic rock hits and a small touch of hip hop for the discerning urban audience.

Random characters from the first film are replaced by well known rap stars, who look absolutely nothing like the original cast, but that's okay, because all the female roles have been replaced by women with gigantic, heaving breasts that the camera constantly makes sure to give you a peek at. You've also got some irritating computer generated actors to flesh out the cast. Everyone loves 3D, right.

Oh, and the original plot? Yeah, they kinda had to change that. It now involves a massive corporation and a plucky, sexually ambiguous young teenager that saves the environment from them.

Expect it out mid-2009, in a theater near you.
Lindner
Yeah. I'm excited too. I'd love to discuss it more with you, but I gotta go take a cold shower...

On a serious note though... where the fuck is Frankenstein? Where's the "Hand Grenade"? Where's Stallone with a tommy gun? And where the fuck is my nazi bimbette racer?

While I'm certain it will be an "action packed thrill ride", there's a sad part of me that's deeply upset to see this remake.

Kharnov
Worst of all, where's the campy charm?

FABIO2
To long for the days when the original didn't focus on T&A.


what?

abeli$con
will this be the film that finally wins roger corman his decades overdue oscar? doesn't look like it but this trailer stays true to the original film with a pleasing amount of leather and homoeroticism.
Timothy A. Bear
Is this called 'Death Race 2008' because it has cars?
CornOnTheCabre
yeah. I'm really sick of these remakes of movies that made next to no money, and have absolutely nothing to do with the original. Seriously, what the hell? I can think of no possible scenario where some forty-something would be like "HOLY SHIT THEY REMADE DEATH RACE 2000?! AND ITS NOTHING LIKE THE ORIGINAL?! SIGN ME UP!!!" Why don't you just call it Killer Wheels, or Hot Rod Rape? You'd make literally the same amount of money.

Actually, that's not true, I'd totally see this movie if it were called Hot Rod Rape.

citrusmirakel
Actually, they should have called it "Twisted Metal"

1394
Unfortunately, it's going to be terrible.
Cap'n Profan!ty
if it has tits, i'll get it another star

GusPlease
Anyone even remotely associated with this should be fed to a pack of livid hyenas. It actually takes a certain amount of skill to ruin something as awesome as the original Death Race 2000 -- it's like finding a way to make the sun emit ice.

I can't fathom why any of you have given it more than one star.
Xenocide
You don't understand this website.

Kharnov
I see the stars here not as approval for the movie, but rather for the appreciation of the sheer amount of disgust it invokes.

GusPlease
Horseshit. Look at my submission history. I think I've got one of the best submitted-to-evil ratios on POE.

This isn't evil. It doesn't invoke disgust. This isn't even bad enough to be interesting. It's just homogenized and bland -- the worst type of bad. Now, if they had cast Dane Cook in it or some shit, or had a totally gratuitous product placement, or even a totally out-of-place sound effect or two, THEN I'd give it at least some star love.

But as it stands, it hits the sweet spot of too shitty for me ever to want to see, but not shitty enough to be inadvertently entertaining. Which I guess in its own subtle way is pretty evil, but that's a little too ethereal an evil for me.



CornOnTheCabre
EVIL RATIO

GusPlease
You can't step to "Undimmed By Anime Tears - AMV 9/11 Tribute."

Corman's Inferno
+5 Billion for Ian McShane.

-4,999,999,996 for plastering Death Race 2000 in Rob Zombie-flavored pigeon shit.
Hooker
Where did the other three stars go?

RomancingTrain
Right here (I would have given this a 2.)

Xenocide
As we know, all woman convicts are incredibly hot.


This movie is tailor-made red state porn. Heroic NASCAR driver! Shit blowing up for no reason! Souped up cars! Wacky black guy! Hillary Clinton as the villain!
Rodents of Unusual Size
Yeah, that was my take on it. I'm surprised no one has a confedereate flag tattoo on their forehead.

Stuff is gonna splode.

divinitycycle
5 stars for my surprisingly strong response to this. I remember reading something vague last year that "they" were going to "remake" Deathrace 2000, and I actually thought "that'll be awesome!"

I could probably spend like several paragraphs explaining why this is terrible, but instead I'll just use 5 stars. FUCK!
Crucifried
I will see this movie. It looks fun, but not good. I love the original Death Race, and I'm not angry that they took out certain characters. This is to our culture right now what Death Race was to the 70's. The 70's were campy and stupid, and the current climate is "gritty-realism" and stupid.

I am angry though.

Why did they take out people getting run over? Will my dream of a Carmageddon movie, made with a super sweet production budget, rocking awesome cars, and a guys head blowing up as he gets run over never take place? I want the production values this movie obviously has, but with all the awesome pedestrian killing.
Hooper_X
That is actually a reasonable observation. It replaces everything that was Really 70s about the original with a heaping helping of Really 00s - washed out color, lovingly rendered slo-mo ultraviolence, Transporter Guy, heaving tits in tank tops, product placements, etc.

citrusmirakel
You know, it's quite likely that I'll be seeing this movie just because Ian McShane is in it.
Rovin
"The rules are simple - there are no rules" + The Transporter guy + ripped-off "I guess he didn't like the cornbread, either" joke from Aliens replacing cornbread with oatmeal +... +...

Dear god. The whole thing screams creative bankruptcy.
Dinkin Flicka
It could be called post modernity. I wouldn't personally though.

Spit Spingola
Why do new movies have to be so gray? This one's practically black & white. At least Tarantino likes color.
Random_Hajile
This will be boring at best.
threads
I think I'd mind this less if it wasn't called Death Race. Call it something else and I'd probably see it on DVD. Death Race 2000 has a sacred place in my heart next to Rock and Roll High School.
StanleyPain
DEATH RACE: THE RACE THAT KILLS PEOPLE.
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