Mother_Puncher 
Moon Nazis, the 4th Reich, illuminati. All red herrings. The real enemy are the Reptilians. He is filling the minds of the youth of this community center with filthy lies.
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Chalkdust
this is basically the plot to Final Fantasy VII
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IrishWhiskey
I read a National Geographic article about how homo habilis used more advanced tools than otherwise thought. As we all know, anyone who can use primitive tools can also build spaceships. There were news reports of mysterious alien ships landing in Sweden, which the government claims were ducks flying together under a tarp painted like a UFO *snort*. Obviously our species was created by alien time-travelers who split into primitive and advanced species, one taking to the stars, the other being us. They came back in the 1970s to form the pop supergroup ABBA. This is all documented. That is because their songs are necessary for fighting off the zombie invasion. If you've been following my logic thus far, you should already be rubbing soup in your hair to keep out the brain rays.
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Xiphias
It's amazing how completely boring he can make aliens and the illuminati.
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cognitivedissonance
To be fair, it was an awful lot of money we gave them to actually land on the moon, who could blame them if they succombed to the temptation to NOT?
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What about the Danger
This guy seems at least twice as sane as the lady with the McMansion who was clearly trying to make money.
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