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Desc:Welcome to the banality of despair. NSFW, probably.
Category:Horror, Horror
Tags:fleshlight, blowup doll, onahole, DIY OBGYN
Submitted:William Topaz McGonagall
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Comment count is 28
Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2013-08-06
I got 41 seconds in...
Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2013-08-06
Though also.. I guess I dont have a problem with this in the slightest. If some dude wants to do that, then blast away! perfectly clean healthy fun!.. really!

Nominal - 2013-08-06
I've mentioned before that I find it bizarre how female masturbation toys are accepted as a norm and candidly discussed while male masturbation toys are instant pariah material. If this was a woman discussing vibrator tips nobody would even blink. Heck, I remember my college dorm lounge regularly holding vibrator sales pitch get togethers for the girls with the same normalcy of a tupperware party.

I mean, I totally have the same reaction and would get the hell out of any house I found a fleshlight in. Listening to this video was nails on chalkboard creepy. If it was a woman attaching a dildo to a mannequin it would have gotten a chuckle and that's all.

I'm just curious WHY we feel that way. Is it knowing there's a bunch of disgusting splooge to clean up? Is it knowing that no matter how many toys a woman owns, she could still go out and get laid anytime while seeing a man do this triggers a desperation warning that he has no other options?

WHY, poetv sociologists?

Toenails - 2013-08-06
All a REAL MAN needs is a hand and a brain.

*turns head and spits out some tobacco*

Meerkat - 2013-08-06
I would totally buy one of these things if I thought it would help.

My urologist told me I have to whack off as frequently as humanly possible and that has taken all the fun out of it.

Whacking off has become a joyless duty I must perform for health reasons and so I sit there, staring straight ahead of me with a blank face and empty eyes, tugging relentlessly until I pulse feebly onto the prepared collection sheet, the sounds of the drips striking my ears like a paean of blessed relief that at last, finally, I can get back to my goddamn video games.

garcet71283 - 2013-08-06
PoeSociologist mode on:

In a male dominated society it is acceptable for women (or non-male gender roles) to be subject to and comfortable with their natural (read: emotional) urges. It is acceptable for women to be sexually aggressive and even encouraged in our society because it just confirms the stereotype of being subservient to their emotions and shackled by biological needs.

Men, on the other hand, are labeled as weak or inferior for using such devices. This is because society's measure of a successful male also includes his ability to attract members of the opposite sex. Using such instruments as demonstrated above only serves to label the man as an inferior specimen and one that should be reviled at worst and pitied at best.

I propose another question. Why is it that men find the very concept of women using vibrators, dildos or other tools so attractive whereas women are disgusted and revolted (generally speaking, there are always exceptions) by the concept of men using the above.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-08-06
One thing to consider: Vibrators are far easier to clean, while it looks like these things would need some pretty hefty disinfecting to make sure you got everything out of every nook and cranny.

Also, on the "clean" idea: Vibrators/dildos can be made of hard plastic or other materials that can be as easily "freshened" as a kitchen tool.

It's ironic, given how most male-dominated societies tend to think of the vagina as dirty or unsanitary apart from right before and during sex. Men may also like the idea of a woman using a vibrator because it means "she wants it."

William Topaz McGonagall - 2013-08-06
There's nothing pathetic or creepy about a guy using a sex toy and anyone who disagrees has some awful and/or critically unexamined attitudes about sexuality.

What makes this video creepy is a guy who thinks his expertise in sex toys is important enough to make a video showing everyone how to use a sex toy whose use is totally obvious and self-explanatory. Like this is the sum of what he can contribute to the world. It would be equally weird and creepy if he was just showing you how to masturbate with your hand, or if it was a girl explaining at length which end of the dildo you put in.

Also, the weird squelchy noises and the way he fights to jam the fake vagina into a blowup doll are fuckin hilarious. If you can't laugh at how ridiculous sex and masturbation are, you need to lighten up.

William Topaz McGonagall - 2013-08-06
Also the revelation about halfway in that the blowup doll has fake silicone tits belongs in a course on comic timing.

Nominal - 2013-08-07

Spaceman Africa - 2013-08-07
Using a fleshlight is fine, but using a fleshing and stuffing it into your see-through, headless human analogue is a little off putting.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-08-07
Maybe he's a necrophiliac that has gone past his lust for corpses and now wants to have congress with ghosts.

muffinbutt - 2013-08-11
If this was an instructional video by an awkward nerdy woman showing how to attach various fake penis shaped vibrators to her clear plastic headless blow up doll, using plenty of lube and making horrible squelching noises, I'm pretty sure we'd all still be gawking at it.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-08-06
Oh, THAT'S how they get those stuffed animals into those balloons they sell in the mall? I never would've guessed.
EvilHomer - 2013-08-06
FACT: all mall balloons include strategically placed holes.

Oscar Wildcat - 2013-08-06
Let's try putting a rubber chicken in there next.

Meerkat - 2013-08-06
Those things are floppier than I thought. Maybe if he jammed a cucumber or something in there ...
Mother_Puncher - 2013-08-06
People really care about how they aren't getting laid
Killer Joe - 2013-08-06
The sounds.
Oh lawd, the sounds.
Jet Bin Fever - 2013-08-07
SQUICK SQUICK SQUICK! Just like the real thing!
I was going to leave a comment about the sounds too. They make me feel physically ill.

Oscar Wildcat - 2013-08-06
It has no head.
SolRo - 2013-08-06
you tape a picture of your ex, anime charecter, or new girl you're stalking there.

Old_Zircon - 2013-08-07

Cherry Pop Culture - 2013-08-07
IT HAS NO HEAD! Seriously, it was when I saw she lacked a head is what put it in creepy territory. I have seen some of those for sale and wonder if anyone else gets freaked out.

Oscar Wildcat - 2013-08-07
Upon closer inspection, this one seems to have a standard bulkhead mount in the neck stump for a Lilith.

jangbones - 2013-08-08
guys that own these things usually have a lot of real female heads laying around, in the freezer, under the floorboards, in the crawlspace, wherever...

chumbucket - 2013-08-07
The future of how-to videos.
pyslexic dharmacist - 2013-08-12
Wait wait wait, this guy is concerned with anatomical correctness while inserting a silicone tube into a transparent plastic inflatable--and apparently headless--doll?
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