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Desc:' And I want her to look beautiful, if mama meets Jesus tonight'
Category:Religious, Horror
Tags:, Rob Lowe, hallmark, Shitty Christmas music, tv movies
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
Date:11/03/13
Views:1308
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Comment count is 22
John Holmes Motherfucker
I may be about to go offline for a couple of days, so I wanted to share this.


I always thought that The Chick was reasonably cute, but sort of dour and not all that attractive, but I found something surprising after submitting this link:


http://blip.tv/nostalgia-chick/mr-awesome-goes-to-washington-5 827009

Too young for me, but nevertheless I sighed out loud.
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
I'm here if you want to talk.


Bort
"LITerally the worst thing ever made." -- Chris Traeger
robotkarateman
Patton Oswalt said all that needed to be said about "Christmas Shoes" when he talked about the song.
Bort
I'm glad we got a look at the movie, though. What Nostalgia Chick is having trouble processing is that, if you are the sort of person who believes you have a personal relationship with Jesus, your ability to establish sane priorities is broken, and suddenly it's all about you in the stupidest ways. Thus, it doesn't matter if Rob Lowe is spending all his time trying to help his fellow man like some sort of liberal; what matters is that he needs to learn to enjoy Christmas, and if multiple mothers need to be smitten to teach him the lesson, that's just fine. Also, only a liberal would expect his wife to work if that's what solves the problem of family income.

When I say "liberal" I am of course speaking of someone who stands against everything good and wholesome.

Quad9Damage
This 16 minute review is enough for me to get the sense that "The Christmas Shoes" does literally nothing to counter the contemporary Christian attitude of being selfish, judgmental and casting the first stone. It's a movie all about Jesus and the beautiful Heaven where he takes the dying white people. Meanwhile, as Nostalgia Chick points out, the child scrounges for scrap metal while all the adults literally watch him carry on and do absogoddamnedlutely nothing to help him out. If someone actually gave him a twenty, there would be no movie.

They based this entire shitty, schmaltzy TV movie off of a shitty, schmaltzy song. There are literally two lines to create a character from, and the best they could do was "daddy works too hard and is too preoccupied with helping the downtrodden." But fuck those people. Fuck corporation regulation because that's for liberals to pout over.

dockilljoy
Another plea to please keep stuff from TGWTG off this site. Unless it's a trainwreck. Then please go right ahead.
Nominal
It is not a good site.

John Holmes Motherfucker
If you're always going to complain, the train wreck is built -n.

John Holmes Motherfucker
I love these videos, and not just the chick. I also love the Critic, though he's more of a Mike Nelson, while the Chick is more of a Roger Ebert. I download these to my hard drive, and watch them over and over again.
EvilHomer
" the Chick is more of a Roger Ebert"

That's some great imagery there, John. You really know how to set the mood.

EvilHomer
Hey John, what are your thoughts on Lia Marie Johnson?
Quad9Damage
Wow, you people sure do get angry and 1-star a lot.

I don't get the hate over Nostalgia Chick here. She's more physically attractive than that Target Women lady, and she's far more appealing and informed than Anita Sarkeesian. What more do you want?
The New Meat
Shut your damn mouth, Sarah Haskins is a goddess.

memedumpster
If you guys don't like this chick, you should have rescued Kaiden instead.
Rosebeekee
As a woman, I like the Nostaglia Chick. I like that she gives an actual, intelligent critique of movies both on their own and from a feminist perspective, instead of summarizing the plot in 20 minutes and filling out the rest with sketches that drag on and screaming out pop culture jokes while waving a gun around. I've wanted to submit her and her friends review of the Spiderman musical because it's hilarious, but I guess there's no point since everyone's too fixated on her appearance and the creeps that obsess with her.
Adham Nu'man
I liked the Milo and Otis one but this was kind of meh. She tries hard to be funny and really she's not. I don't hate her but I don't think poetv really needs every single one of her videos to be posted here.

If it's a particularly interesting video about some particularly obscure piece of entertainment by all means bring it on, but if it's just her generic "wacky" commentary on generic pop turd #7482 then at least I for one could live without that.

EvilHomer
You should look at it less as a Nostalgia Chick clip, and more as a JHMF exhibit. Then it's much more interesting.

Quad9Damage
As a rule, everything TGWTG/Channel Awesome affiliated usually gets 1-starred and called "hipster" here, if it even makes it through the hopper.

I like Nostalgia Chick for the same reasons you do. She gives an overall critique of the film in question instead of making bad jokes about every aspect of the entire plot. She doesn't drop "fucks" every other line, and she doesn't scream and curse with exaggerated rage like every "angry reviewer" in existence. She doesn't have a fake gun that she blasts in the air while screaming all forms of fuck. In other words, she's way better at this than Doug Walker, Channel Awesome's only paid employee.

Also, if she addresses something that's blatantly sexist, she has the ability to make me smile about it while informing me at the same time. This is in stark contrast to someone like Sarkeesian, who now comes off to me as a cold, joyless finger-wagger...although if I'd braved the btard Rape Threat Brigade, I'd be cold and joyless too.

Nostalgia Chick is someone you watch when you want your internet blip reviewers to be calm, introspective and witty instead of boisterous and waving a tired shtick.

Monkey Napoleon
Just poppin in to 5 star this vid.
joelkazoo
HURF DURF THIS EB HIPSTER BULLSHITT!
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