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Category:Humor
Tags:cwc, sonichu, Chris Chan
Submitted:themilkshark
Date:05/04/14
Views:1137
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Comment count is 11
Pillager - 2014-05-04
I saw him last night at the Ruckersville Food Lion. Not in his tomgirl regalia, but his hair was still bleached. My life will never be the same.
Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2014-05-04
Was the hair still long?

Pillager - 2014-05-04
Curly as hell & tied back in a rather bushy pony tail. He's lost some weight, but his clothes still looked too tight on him.

Riskbreaker - 2014-05-04
I bet it felt like watching bigfoot or something.

yogarfield - 2014-05-04
Should have touched his garments.

BiggerJ - 2014-05-04
Pillager, what's Ruckersville like?

Chris has said, "Ruckersville is a Very Boring, One-Horse Town. Hardly any young adults hang around here, and there is not much to do. Having a Wal-Mart does not make it any better either. It's like putting lipstick on a skeleton, it does not make it any better or nicer."

They complained about that on the CWCki (Chris-Chan wiki) forum (http://www.cwckiforums.com/threads/july-7th-2013-facebook-update- one-horse-town.1405/), saying his dissatisfaction is entirely his fault. Yet the wiki (http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Ruckersville,_VA#The_Truth) says:

"It's a redneck shithole full of cheap, ugly houses and even uglier lawn furniture. It's a place where people burn their trash and decorate their yards with junked cars, where the human disasters we know as the "Chandlers" can go ignored and unnoticed (that is if you don't know who they are). Ruckersville has very little in the way of recognizable landmarks, history, and the only noteworthy person born there is NASCAR driver Phillip Morris. While most normal young people would resent being stuck in a redneck wonderland like Ruckersville, the lack of prospects or opportunities suits Chris, as it's just one more excuse to never leave his room, let alone get a job.

Chris claims to hate living in Ruckersville, as evidenced by his complaints in various videos, but only because he'd rather be in a near-identical suburb where he thinks he could live in a permanent time-capsule of his high school days forever."

Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-05-04
Chris' ideal town is just a suburb with a TGI Friday's, Applebee's, and an infinite dildo factory.

Pillager - 2014-05-04
@ BiggerJ, Ruckersville? Better than it used to be. I remember when Tastee Freez used be the only place to eat. Development happens at it's own pace. Basically, I'm slowly seeing Northern Va & Charlottesville metastasize towards one another.


My Take? Ruckersville: not very exciting, but affordable. The velvet rut provides us entertainment & better dining options, even if there's no social mobility.

yogarfield - 2014-05-05
***************
For SexyDuckCop and his infinite dildo factory.

Pillager, was this your first sighting? You should go hang out with him and report back.

Pillager - 2014-05-04
@ Riskbreaker, He actually sighed before he walked by. Two biologists in Madagascar once recorded the unrequited mating call of a lemur thought to be the last of its kind. It was more like that.
Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-01-03
So basically you not only bumped into Jesus Christ, but you caught him spontaneously yelling his beloved catchphrase "That's a lotta falafel!!"

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