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Desc:OR: How not to conduct yourself at a border checkpoint
Category:Crime, Pets & Animals
Tags:canada, Furries, bestiality, customs, incredible politeness
Submitted:fluffy
Date:06/28/14
Views:2526
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Comment count is 42
EvilHomer
"Well, officer, that depends on what your definition of 'animal porn' is. You see, my animal porn features anthropomorphic animal characters known colloquially as 'furries'. These sexy naked wolf-and-fox characters are drawn, not real, and they look vaguely like people, even though they're animals. Animals in porn. Gigs and gigs worth of them, actually.

Why, yes, yes you may check my laptop, why do you ask?"


On a related note, fuck the Canadian border patrol. I take it that nerd who got imprisoned for having anime pictures is not an isolated incident?
Cena_mark
Fortunate for him he's not a baby-fur.

magnesium
It's actually relatively easy for Canadians and Americans to get in and out of each other's countries by car. You generally just get waved on. Taking a plane or bus is a little more involved, but I'm not even sure why he needed an application, because a passport is enough to get you entry for a couple months as a tourist. Showing up with a one-way ticket, though, is really weird. They probably think he's trying to immigrate and that's when they start to get dicky about it.

badideasinaction
One-way tickets and weird behavior is enough for a border guard to err on the side of no. Both sides want to protect their jobs and avoid another person on the receiving end of government services. I've known someone turned back going into the US because he had a crumpled up resume in his backpack. I never brought business cards for my photography (even though it was free) because I didn't want them to think I was working in the US; someone else got a five year ban from the US because they found their business cards as an artist while travelling to an art show and they deduced they were going there to make money.

White Trash Party
All weirdness aside they would have denied entry to anyone with a one way ticket into Vancouver with 0 to survive on. That's sketchy as hell.
infinite zest
huh. I went from Portland to Victoria with less than that, because I was crashing on friends' couch during the summer and didn't have a return ticket.. I think I had like 0 and they didn't really ask me anything.. I mentioned that I was a student on Summer Vacation, which was true (maybe they thought my parents could send money?) but that was that and in I went. This was shortly before 9/11 (July through August to be specific) so maybe it's different now? I haven't been over the border since, for whatever reason.

Cena_mark
He's just travelling in the manner of many people his age. When I was in college I'd go on road trips with just over 0 and sleep in my car and find campsites. Granted travelling from Hawaii to Vancouver broke is a little different from my jaunts around the southeast.

Chancho
The lack of return ticket is the problem. It's a great excuse to keep a greasy furry out of the Great White North. God Bless our border guards.

badideasinaction
IZ - the border was a hell of a lot less sticky back then, in both directions. We had someone in the car who forgot their ID (not passport, literally all their ID) and it was like "no worries, enjoy your trip". Mostly both sides of the border want to make sure you don't become their country's problem if you get stranded there.

infinite zest
yeah I figured pumped-up security has a lot to do with it in a post-911 society, but I was flying down to join a band on tour for a couple of shows in Los Angeles not too long ago. Since the keyboards were there I just hopped on the plane with literally an extra pair of pants, my iphone and my wallet, all ~40 bucks to my name. We were driving back so I didn't need a round trip either. I was dressed like normal I guess, tattered black hoodie, bandana, sexy-ass jeans and motorcycle boots :) For some reason that seems less suspicious than someone going so close to the border with a shit ton of $ and no return pass. Like, what can 0 dollars worth of damage do, or in my case ?

infinite zest
(oh yeah I forgot about the Hawaii part and was just thinking Seattle to BC which is literally swim-able..) doesn't Hawaii International treat itself more like an international airport anyway even for domestic flights to and from the mainland? I remember having to go through customs when I left for Hawaii and on the way back.

White Trash Party
They are worried he will either get stranded there or decide to live with his two "boyfriends" and become an overstay. You don't always need a return ticket or a certain amount to cross, but you need to be able to demonstrate you have some means of getting back home and supporting yourself abroad. It's not any one thing he is doing wrong but rather he is doing a culmination of things that make him a risk. I'm willing to bet he doesn't have a job back home. That would make them nervous as well as he wouldn't have a big incentive to return home.

Sanest Man Alive
I was giggling as soon as I saw the hat and ponytail. Then I saw the second tail and laughed so long my face hurt.
infinite zest
you mean the title didn't give it away? I was hoping he had a whole wolfsuit underneath his street clothes.

MacGyver Style Bomb
"He met them online playing video games."

I'm guessing Second Life.
garcet71283
I love this shit.


That being said, Canada, for their mild-mannered politeness has some of the most intense thought-policing of any country in this hemisphere.
Enjoy
Why can't we take our amazingly asshole-ish border guards on the Northern border and send them South?

Gmork
Some kind of lava moat.

John Holmes Motherfucker
The most bizarre thing about this guy is the fact that, apparently, he signed the release.
ashtar.
He does not make good decisions.
Maybe they offered him enough money to enter Canada?

John Holmes Motherfucker
Jesus dude, just tell them the tail is a good luck charm, they don't need to know about yer lifestyle.

Riskbreaker
Oh but these people are proud of that, and will tell you about it. They think they are in some kind of civils rights movement or something.

BiggerJ
It's the only subculture that's actively trying to escape the internet and into people's lifestyles and into public places.

Boomer The Dog
I'd agree with that to a point, there's Furry pride, wanting to show everyone how cool it is to be Furry, and seriously what should you do when the costumes are so visual? It would be like just dressing as a clown at home, never going out to entertain anyone.

Another point to it could be to escape the mafiosos on line, Furry admins and other Furries who try to say how you must act as a Furry or risk bringing the scene (and their profits) down. You get tired of that kind of thinking after awhile, and just want to forget those guys and grow.

That happens in any scene though I guess, but like a cool guy told me when I was getting into it, 'Have Furry fun'. (waves to 1.8.7.)

Boomer

EvilHomer
Is there really a Furry mafia? I wouldn't be surprised; having known a few furs IRL myself, and moreover, being all too familiar with the kind of people who aspire to become online moderators for "geek culture" forums, it seems only logical that there'd be a ton of furry admins who have nothing better to do than throw their weight around and act like culture-policing assholes.

I hope you're not woofing from experience, though! Furry nerd-hipsters don't hate on your style, do they?

EvilHomer
Also, I'd imagine that asking a furry about his tail is similar to asking a Christian about his cross necklace. You have to expect what comes next.

Boomer The Dog
Maybe it's not a real Furry mafia, but it has the feel of it, with inner circles of senior members trying to enforce a code of conduct. It's done through instructional videos and word of mouth, this is what you should and should not do, in conducting yourself with other Furries, non-Furries and the media.

I do woof from experience, I was used as an example! When I went to court for my name change back then, I got on the local news, and was attacked by other local Furs, they went nuts, and I couldn't hold my position with them.

I was surprised at the hysteria, but realized that all of them were in some way involved with the local convention scene as higher ups. They couldn't really do anything about the behavior of a free Canine citizen, so I was a lost cause, so instead they used their attacks as a way of showing other Furries that this is the way not to act, and this is how you'll be treated if you do.

I think the issue comes down to money, these guys are on the ground floor of a growing scene that now is turning over millions of dollars with one large convention.

Using the fierce loyalty of Furries to a social scene that means a lot to them, and playing off of other existing behaviors and ideas, admins are willing to attack and dispense with that one Fur to try to keep the rest in line. Corporate behavior? They are a corporation. It's been ongoing too, a low level of FUD is still being spread when my story comes up in some social media.

It's a shame because the essence of life I think is to learn and absorb, and then be able to advance the knowledge. It shouldn't matter as much to me, but the idea of a 'fur ceiling' in place that's limiting maximum creativity deserves some criticism at least.

Boomer

Boomer The Dog
I'd agree, tails can have quite a story sometimes, it would relate to the animal the Fur is, what it means to them to wear one, if they made it themselves or had someone else do it.

I don't wear a tail except with my costume, but some of my Doggie things do have long stories!

Boomer

EvilHomer
That's awful, I'm sorry to hear that, Boomer. You've always struck me as being very laid back, very friendly, and perfectly willing to stand up for what you believe is right without being a judgmental jerk about it. For buck's sake, you even won over Dr Phil, and that guy has made a career out of being a condescending asshole!

I'd think you would be hailed as the ultimate role model by furries, a Furry Messiah, but, well, "forgive them Father, for they know not what they do"!



Did they tell you *why* they were being so catty? Were they worried that the news showing a trans-specied individual would make the scene appear to be less "normal" (which it isn't)? Or were they just mad that the cameras were on you and not on their convention?

Boomer The Dog
Hi Homer, thanks. I was hoping to get the Doggie side out there on Dr. Phil's show, I had fun but did wonder what he was going to think about it.

I think I have something to offer to Furrydom, it's a tight scene for some, and there are tribal tensions and drama that pop up frequently. My message would be to take it easy and relax, and see what Furriness could bring to the rest of the world that's out there.

I made Papey, my paper Dog costume, possibly the first paper suit in the scene, and was hoping that Furs would use the idea to think creatively about what other materials could be used to make a costume. Furs I met liked it a lot, but it didn't spark a revolution, maybe they don't like that it was made for .. ;) Plus, making a costume on your own doesn't support other Furries, it's almost unheard of today.

They didn't say why they were so catty, just 'How could you!', 'after all we've worked for!' There was no actual discussion, and they didn't know me, we never met, except for one fox I knew pretty well, but even so he joined in, 'Why don't you just keep your given name, and use your Furry name in Furry, like the rest of us?' That seems like a legit comment, but in the tense, hostile environment of the mailing list, that was bad to drop I thought.

I don't know if anyone is jealous that I went on TV, but I suggested it to one of them, because I had that impression, and it set him off even more.

They didn't like me going on to the media, but here again, they didn't know me, that I've been in the media for years, maybe on a smaller scale, but still, being on the radio, and TV before, I'm no stranger to the media and being outgoing with it.

I can see your idea of a trans-species pooch stepping up being seen by them like a defiant lost sheep, but there are plenty of Furries who see themselves as not 100 percent Human, and who believe in things like transformation.

I don't want to paint Furry as all bad, it's been life changing for some, including me, when I found it in 1997. I had never known anyone else who was a Dog, or thought they might be some other animal before.

I constantly think about the anthro connection and what it means, and have for many years, since the late 1970s at least, it's a big part of my life, so meeting others was a breakthrough experience for me.

Boomer

Rodents of Unusual Size
I honestly never suspected there could be a furry hierarchy complete with some furries intimidating other furries into what they consider to be more moral furry behavior.

My mind? Just exploded.

Boomer The Dog
It happens, I just happened to be in the scene for a while and on the edge of one of the cliques, the convention head locals. I'd bark that there is a standard of conduct that goes through most of the wider scene though, and peer pressure.

You don't have to listen to it though and can form your own group of friends and think your own way, but you run the risk of being called not a real Furry if you're too wild. It's mostly internet trash talk, that's always a good thing to remember.

Boomer

John Holmes Motherfucker
Just to be clear, I'm not saying that he should live in the closet, I'm saying he shouldn't give long answers to customs. He wasn't carrying anything he shouldn't be carrying. He wasn't doing anything wrong. So why give them a complicated story so they have to look as his porn?

Of course, I forgot there were TV cameras. I He got on TV. That ain't nothin.

Boomer won over Dr. Phil? Good. Dr. Phil is mostly condescending to people who totally deserve it. I'm not surprised if Dr. Phil likes Boomer. His catch phrase is "How's that workjin for ya"?, and through Boomer's trip is beyond my understanding, it does seem to be workin for him.

dairyqueenlatifah
It comforts me to know that after all these years furries are an oddity that most people are still entirely unaware of.
M-DEEM
Ha, nice try Canada! Great acting, but we all know there are plenty of weirdos here in the USA this guy could fuck.

Cut a deal with ya: We'll keep our dads neck deep in Red Green DVDs if you take him.
Rodents of Unusual Size
this is so so so awkward
Rodents of Unusual Size
I have to say I really feel for these guys. Their job is not easy. I mean they are keeping calm about the fact he has two boyfriends that doesn't live with, that he keeps his cash in a mattress and that he draws cartoon wolf dicks. I was about to say I hope they get paid enough and have benefits but then I remembered they aren't American.

fluffy
My favorite thing about this video is how the furry keeps on saying stuff like "what do you call it, cash" as if he's not used to these strange hu-man concepts like "money" or whatever.
Cena_mark
I love how the preload shot is of the border police looking at the guy's porn.

Rodents of Unusual Size
"This is gonna be hard to classify."

BorrowedSolution
This show is actually uniformly enjoyable.
The Mothership
"This is gonna be hard to classify."
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